From the Kitchen…

Natasha and I haven’t danced a polka in the kitchen for some time. It’s a bit unnatural.

I’m not sure why because we often intersect in the kitchen during supper and snack time and making of the foodstuffs.

You’d think we’d knock each other over once in awhile, or dance.

On Saturday, Natasha was standing near the cupboard door that I needed to open.

As I began to open the door, I said to her…

“Watch your head.”

Her response?

“I can’t.”

This is true. Unless looking into a mirror, a human being cannot look at its own head. We’re not constructed in that fashion.

Rabbits and parrots can look completely behind themselves without turning their heads

Owls can turn their heads 360 degrees.

A tarsier, which is a squirrel-size primate, has the largest eyes of any mammal relative to body size.

Lobsters pee out of their faces.

I could say quite a bit about that last little fact, but I’ll leave it alone.

I’ve veered off target since I was talking about not wanting to give Natasha a concussion with the cupboard door and asking her to do something she can’t. We come up with nonsensical words, don’t we?

Like “as pure as the driven snow.” Snow may be pure as it’s falling, but once it hits the dirty ground or dirty cars or the former snowfall that is now yellow, it’s not really pure.

Or “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Yes, I can. If it’s sitting in front of me and I have a fork or a spoon or my fingers, it will be eaten. Guaranteed.

How about “burning the candle at both ends?”Β  OUCH.

“Rule of thumb?” What is that? My thumb only rules over the space bar. Half the time, it’s not at all helpful with opening jars or writing neat letters on paper.

Asking Natasha to watch her head was not a mensa approved thing to say, but she knew what I meant…

“Careful, Mary is in the kitchen. You may want to stand still or back up or watch the cupboard door so it doesn’t slam you in the head.”

“And watch out for the Polkageist.”

This post has been brought to you by peeing lobsters and Linda Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. If you are wondering what One-Liner Wednesday is all about, CLICK HERE.

Linda G. Hill is the Queen of One-Liners and rules over her kingdom of followers. Check out today’s post and commit yourself to join the Queen’s one-liner army because there’s no fighting or blood, only comradery and fun with words.

30 responses to From the Kitchen…

  1. Lobsters pee out of their faces? The things you didn’t know you didn’t know! Some sayings are really odd when you think about them. 😊

  2. Dan Antion says:

    I guess it’s good I don’t eat lobster faces – hard to reconcile that tidbit. I’m still laughing at the Polkageist – having grown up in a polka hot-spot, I find that particularly scary. The other thoughts are funny wen you think about them – especially the cake. That one has never made sense.

    Thanks for the laughs, the animal facts (including the one I did not need to know) and making me hungry for cake.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Yeah, the lobster fact is a weird one. Sorry if I ruined your breakfast or lunch in any way.
      The cartoon would have been funnier had the polkageist looked like Lawrence Welk. I had to suffer the polka thing with you, Dan, although it’s come in handy for dancing skills and jokes.

      • Dan Antion says:

        I actually enjoyed watching people polka – so much fun. But the year I spent working on the Gateway Party Liner was hard. Every night, the last song the band played was The Hokey Pokey. Every night for a year.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        You put you right hand in, you put your right hand out. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about!

        Yeah, done that…

  3. Laura says:

    You may have wanted me to get more out of your post than this but sorry not sorry my brain has totally zeroed in on this particular fact. πŸ˜†

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Just thought I’d emphasis that lest either of us forget. πŸ˜‹

  4. Shelley says:

    LOL – I had forgotten that horrible fact about lobsters. Now I don’t really want to eat one.ever.again…

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Hey, as long as the lobsters are not peeing out of their tails, I’m okay with that. Melty Clarified butter makes everything taste good!

      • Shelley says:

        You’re right, okay, I’m back into them again, thanks for buttering me up!

  5. marianallen says:

    OMG–a polkageist!!!! LOL! You can’t have your cake and eat it, too, because if you eat it you don’t have it anymore. And the “rule of thumb” was a medieval domestic abuse reform that said you couldn’t beat your wife with a rod thicker than your thumb. So now you know. πŸ˜€

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Domestic abuse reform??? Wow, glad I wasn’t someone’s wife during medeival times. Suffering a concussion at the hands of a kitchen cupboard may be less painful. Thanks for sharing those facts, Marian.

  6. J-Dub says:

    Never knew that about lobsters. The more you know … πŸ™‚ LOL. Happy Wednesday!!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I really only wanted to know if there was an animal that could see it’s own head when searching the internet. Google is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

  7. You sound like me, Mary: “My thumb only rules over the space bar. Half the time, it’s not at all helpful with opening jars or writing neat letters on paper.”

    The way I’m going these days, I’m almost certain I need to watch my head πŸ™‚

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I’ve taken to watching my feet more often, Damyanti. Too many tripping incidents and another way to bang my head!
      Such is the way with tendonitis and thumbs/hands. Not helpful!

  8. joey says:

    I hope I can summon a polkageist. More dancing in the kitchen for sure. While I appreciate all the commentary on aphorisms, I am most delighted to know lobsters pee from their faces. Somehow it doesn’t matter. Visually, it looks like butter in my head… πŸ˜›
    Great post, Mary.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Well, Joey, pee and melted butter ARE the same color. Thanks for finding the positive in the dirty little secret of lobster faces.

  9. Joanne Sisco says:

    Thanks for the morning smile. I love these posts that talk about the peculiarities of our language. Having married someone who learned English as a 2nd language, we still trip over the occasional expression that makes him look at me funny πŸ˜†

    … and yeah, now I have a reason for not particularly liking lobster 😏

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