One-Liner Wednesday: Technology

“Wow, isn’t technology awesome?”

technology

Natasha spoke these words while we were watching Xploration Station, a series of science-related shows that explore space, earth, nature and technology.

We were watching a segment about Smart Belt, a device worn around the waist by people who are at risk of falling, such as the elderly. This device automatically deploys airbags around the hips when a fall is detected. Watch a CBS news video about the Smart Belt HERE.

Pretty cool, huh?

Technology is awesome. Electric and driver-less cars; iPod, iTunes, iPhone; artificial heart, organs, knees, hips, limbs; Facebook, Google, Twitter; artificial memories, teleportation, bionic contact lens, retinal implants; Mars rover, sky crane, Three Gorges Dam (China), Millau Viaduct (France); DNA sequencing, human genome mapping; LCD, GPS, MRI, ATM; wind turbines, solar energy, on-line shopping.

The list goes on and on and on. There are far too many technological advances in the past century to mention within one post, so I will stop here.

However, I do have one burning question.

Why, with all of these technological advances and more, can no one come up with a stapler that never jams, uses any kind of staple, and always staples perfectly?

If there’s a scientist or inventor out there who can answer…

stapler

Meanwhile, I’ll be utilizing a metal letter opener in order to remove all of the jammed staples from the not-so-awesome technology that had difficulties stapling two stinkin’ pieces of paper together.


This post has been brought to you by my mother, martinis, and Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. Click HERE to see additional one-liners in the comment section. Feel free to play along by posting your own one-liner and linking your post to Linda’s.

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27 responses to One-Liner Wednesday: Technology

  1. Dan Antion says:

    The work-a-day technology guy in me would say “stop using paper.” The little-boy technology guy is dreaming of a contraption where a laser shoots holes through the pages. Then, two robots go to work. One bends up a staple that is just the right size for the number of pages, and inserts it through the holes. The other robot bends each leg over, forming a perfect clasp.

    Every office could afford one (about $62,500) and it would be so much fun to watch that we’d erase the progress we’ve made on electronic storage and go back to filing paper 🙂

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Stop using paper? Yeah, that’s what I thought when computers and email came along. My desk is covered in paper! We’re finally moving over to e-Forms, so that might help to some degree, but I doubt paper will ever go away…at least not until after I retire.

      I want your robot contraption! Not to staple, but to help me purge and throw away some of that unnecessary paper in the antiquated file folders.

      • Dan Antion says:

        It sounds like you’re a good candidate for the AIIM Conference (my alter ego). At least if you got to Orlando in March, I could buy you a beer 🙂

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Orlando in March sounds like a good idea. However: 1) The AIIM Conference is not my cup of tea, would rather be at Disneyworld or sitting on the beach at Daytona. 2) I am saving my pennies for a one-day pass at the Star Trek convention in Vegas, in August, along with a side trip to the Grand Canyon. 3) I’ll put up with the paper and stapler until I retire; then I won’t care.

      • Dan Antion says:

        1) understood. 2) accepted (not that you needed that) 3) Jealous of #2 (but happy for you)

  2. Ally Bean says:

    I know not why staplers are as difficult and fussy as they are, but share your frustration with them. And might I add a similar concern: how is it that a roll of packing tape inside that gun-like device, given the slightest provocation, will stick itself together for the millennium? Why doesn’t technology fix that problem? Hmmm?

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I hear you on the tape! Same goes for Saran Wrap and the ability to stick to itself and not let go until we’ve made a mess of trying to cover a bowl of food. Yeah, technology, get on those two issues after you resolve the stapler problems.

  3. joey says:

    Haha! I don’t know. I staple things a lot, and honestly, I haven’t had any trouble with my stapler. She’s a Swingline, which is also what I have at home. Now, that being said, I had a lot of trouble with not-my-staplers over the years, like when I was a substitute teacher, or whatever, so Imma suggest you get a Swingline? And a staple remover? I use those a lot, too. The kind with the triangle jaw, not the new fancy-schmancy ones that cut a b!tch.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I have a staple remover that works well, but it doesn’t help in getting jammed staples out of the stapler. Next time I order a stapler, I’ll go with your suggestion…a Swingline. I bought my last stapler because I thought it looked cool. Guess that didn’t work.

  4. Joanne Sisco says:

    As someone who had lens replacement surgery last year to correct my myopia, I too am in awe of technology and things that can be done now. I had some very unusual eye issues which caused me to have poor eye sight at any distance. When my eye doctor suggested embedding my prescription within my eyes, I thought it was the stuff of science fiction. Who knew that it’s now considered routine?
    We are getting closer and closer to becoming that bionic society.

    … and as someone who once managed to put a staple into my hand, I handle that beast with respect.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I’m glad you had your vision issues fixed, Joanne. It must be wonderful to see well without glasses. Medical technology and advancement in the last 25 years has been mind bending. It’s fortunate we have great minds that can come up with this stuff as opposed to one who can’t seem to get her staple to work right.

  5. dweezer19 says:

    Haha! Right. We do have a good old fashioned model by Swingline that keeps cursing to a minimum. But I agree. Heat bonding or peper melding machine. What? Are the stapler folks in cahoots with the cigarette companies, and therefore untouchable? Lol

  6. I don’t need a stapler any more. New technology like PC and iPad and mobile phone is reducing the need for staplers. So, the business opportunity in re-inventing a better stapler is probably not there nowadays ☺️

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