#SoCS: Random Questions from the Heart

In today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday, Linda Hill asks that participating bloggers use the word “heart” in their post. Naturally, I assume Linda is thinking about Valentine’s Day, coming up this Tuesday. I don’t celebrate the holiday because A) I am single and B) have a healthy supply of chocolate that makes every day Valentine’s Day. That being said, I am at a loss what to write about today because A) I don’t want to write anything mushy about feelingsRead more

Butt, what kind?

I’m confused. Is the yellow arrow pointing to where the butts are? If yes, what kind of butts? Is it obvious – the kind of butts – or is there an alternative definition? Do they want me to go to the butts, look at the butts or throw them in the trash? Will I be arrested if I take the wrong action with the wrong butts? Any idea? Answers? This post has been brought to you by a questionable signRead more

Three Times

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. ― Marthe Troly-Curtin It’s Sunday as I type, and eight inches of expected snow is falling to the ground. White and fluffy and accumulative. Meanwhile, a marathon of NCIS Los Angeles is playing on the TV and Gibbs the cat can’t make up his mind if he’s needy, hungry or needy. It is all I can do to not “waste time” on the couch. Lay sideways. Nap. Watch TV. It’s that kind ofRead more

Requesting Answers

wack·a·doo·dle /ˈwakəˌdo͞odl/ noun: wackadoodle 1. an eccentric or fanatical person. I was chatting back and forth with a peer last week, someone with an even crazier sense of humor than yours truly. We have had several silly “interesting” conversations over the years. Extremely interesting. (And not inappropriate, I might add.) Simply weird and crazy senses of humor coming together in an email string or over the phone. On this occasion, I was called a wackadoodle, the crazy eccentric person thatRead more

Identity: What Did I Miss?

I’m staring at the ID card I’ve had for several years. This card tells everyone Mary is a permanent employee for a state government agency and assigns an ID number. It also contains one of the few ID or driver’s license photos in which I don’t appear to have woken from a two-day drunk. ID stands for “identity,” but you wouldn’t learn much about me from the plastic rectangle that is clipped to a piece of wardrobe Monday through Friday.Read more

Guessing Game

Last Saturday, I asked Natasha an important question. “Guess what day it is?’ After a few seconds of intense thought… “Is it my birthday?” No. “Is it Saturday?” Well, yeah, but…no. “Is it Star Trek Day?” Every day is Star Trek Day. “Is it Columbus Day?” No. Natasha guessed a few additional days related to Star Trek and whatever bounced off the top of her head, but I don’t remember the exact words. In trying to recollect them several hoursRead more

“Where are you going now?”

Mom? Yes Gibbs? Where do you go? What do you mean?  I mean where do you go when you leave here? Many different places, Gibbs. Tell me. I go to work Monday through Friday. Are those the days you get up really early? With you, I’m up early every day.  Very funny. It’s true Mr. 4:00 a.m., but on work days, I don’t come home until after I’ve starved you to death. Ohhhhh…those days! Yes, those days. Where else doRead more

A Man Walks into a Bar…

“I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.” ~Mike Myers~ By the title of this post you may have thought that I was going to connect this post to Dan Antion’s usual Saturday SoCS-at-the-Bar post. You may be right, in a sense, but I’m really here to tell jokes. First, the questions. Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Why did Captain Hook cross the road? Why did the lifeguard not want to rescueRead more

Flewn Time

I often look for the answer to the question… “How did it get so late so soon?” Does anyone know? It’s almost December, three weeks and five days before Christmas. We haven’t seen much snow. Why do the days go by so fast? Does anyone see? Until January 1st, when time seems to stop around here. Most northerners will agree. Why does Saturday suddenly turn to Monday? Does anyone care? We need another weekend day to finish what we started.Read more

Creative Inspiration

I bought a new book on Saturday. My good sense told me that I already have enough books that are either half read or never read and I shouldn’t waste my money. But then that horned guy made me do it. He stuck his pitchfork in me until I reached in my wallet and handed over the loot. That’s my excuse. Good sense rolled her eyeballs and laughed. But I digress. I bought a new book on Saturday. It’s aRead more

SoCS: Which is True?

Which is true? That you love me or I love you? This is true… I love the color blue. Which is true? That He created all or it’s a scientific fact? This is true… I don’t own a witch’s black hat. Which is true? Snow is pretty or heat is ugly? This is true… I always try to be friendly. Which is true? Friends are forever or a passing fancy? This is true… I have a dear friend Nancy. WhichRead more

The Facebook Calculator

“You’ve shared 2 days in a row and your friends are responding.” ~Facebook~ Wow, really? I’m glad Facebook told me this as I am evidently unable to count or read. And I’m blind. This statement made me roll eyes at its propensity for mockery and in-your-face presumptuousness. I realize Facebook isn’t intentional in making fun (or are they?) of our brain’s ability to function. However, the statement struck me as knowledge that most Facebook regulars would already know because theyRead more