“If it had teeth, it would have bit you!”
That’s the wisdom mom shared with me on several occasions during my youth. It would come after I had been searching, searching, searching for something…only to find it was mere inches from my nose. I tend to be one of “those people” who is not always observant to her surroundings.
And so it was when I walked out of the super-sized grocery store into the super-sized parking lot on a sub-zero evening. I couldn’t spot my dark blue car, which seemed to be in stealth mode. I knew the approximate location, but I couldn’t see it.
I’m pretty sure it was there. Right there. Hmmmm…
Well, maybe it’s over this way. Maybe I was hallucinating when I parked the car. I just wish I could find my car. Maybe someone stole it. Jeepers, it’s friggin’ cold out here…
*Flashback to the Seinfeld episode when Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer walked around in the parking garage for many hours, looking for their lost car. Thankfully, I didn’t have to pee or find warmth for a goldfish.*
I finally pulled out my car keys and hit the “unlock” button on the fob. Lights blinked from a car that was parked back where I thought I parked it. Right there. Under my nose, close enough to bite me if it had teeth.
Good thing I didn’t panic and call the police to report a missing vehicle. That would have been embarrassing.
How did I manage to miss a vehicle that was >>this close<< to me? I blame the Arctic cold, a super-sized furry hood, imperfect eyesight, and the fact that my dark blue car is actually white from snow and road salt. No wonder I had a hard time spotting it.
Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
This post has been brought to you by teeth and Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. Click HERE to see additional one-liners in the comment section. Feel free to play along by posting your own one-liner and linking your post to Linda’s.
Mary J Melange 
As someone who has heard that expression before and routinely loses thing that are hiding in plain site, I understand completely. I like to think that these things might be trapped between universes. Maybe you parked near a tear in the fabric of spacetime. Maybe, when you actually found your car, you sealed the rift that was endangering mankind. Then again, maybe I’ve been watching too much STNG
You know, I had thought about using some type of Star Trek temporal time angle to explain losing sight of my car, but didn’t quite feel it at the time of writing. So thanks, Dan, for your comments and you can never watch too much STNG. Never.
Ha ha – I feel the same way.
That’s a good story, and I’d stick to it also. 🙂 Normally I park way out where my car is by itself, easy to locate, and gives me more steps. But, this time of year is different and I can’t even count how many times I have to stop and really think about where the heck I parked my white van which looks pretty much like every other white van or suv in the lot. I probably should just stay home until the shopping frenzy is over. 🙂
You could paint a bright pink stripe down the middle of your van. Then it would be easy to find. My last resort would have been pressing the car alarm button on the fob, but I didn’t want to annoy the other shoppers. Maybe I need one of those orange balls for the top of the car antenna…
I’m no stranger to using the flashing lights on my car to find it in a parking lot. I think that was one of the most brilliant additions to vehicles.
Since I’ve been driving my husband’s vehicle the past couple of weeks while son #2 has my car, it’s been so much easier to find – big black SUV with bike racks on the top. I can easily pick it out in a parking lot.
…. well except at races when EVERY vehicle in the parking lot seems to be a big, black SUV with bike racks on top.
Ha! That’s like finding a friend in a black leather jacket at a Harley event. Almost impossible! You’re correct, the flashing lights from the fob was very smart. I bet many people have used that feature to find their car. On my old Oldsmobile, there was a button for the trunk next door to the open button. Guess how many times I opened the trunk by accident? :-p
Bwahahahaha!! Yes, I know that one too! But you have to admit it was equally effective 😉
I had to call my kids to pick me up in the parking lot once so we could drive around and find me car. They laughed so hard….until I told them I was serious! They laughed even harder. You can spot the wanderers who have not a clue. Oh, well. Happens to the best of us. So I hear…..
That’s too funny, Lois. You were the “outside” episode of Seinfeld and provided entertainment to your kids. I bet that’s a story they’ve told several times…to your benefit, of course! :-p
My mum used to swear by the skills of St Anthony for finding things. I suppose if you stop what you’re doing for some contemplative prayer by the time you’ve remembered what you were looking for you’ve stumbled across it anyway… I mean been guided to it by heavenly help.
Is that one of yours, Mary? The cat (in the picture) rather than the finger? 🙂
Nope, not my cat, Phil. Just a photo from the internet. Funny, being a good Christian (or so I believed), I didn’t think about praying for the discovery of my vehicle. Next time, that will be the first thing I do…because most assuredly there will be a next time!
Well, you know, I didn’t want to be pious or come across as Mr critical pants or anything but it really does seem like the only logical step to take. That and keeping your fob batteries charged.
Oh it’s not nearly as cute as I originally thought (the Internet cat) albeit the finger is not without merit. Sorry that reads badly, forget the finger bit.
Go finger – there’s that sh*tty sense of humor I like so much.
I habitually park in the same areas of every parking lot to avoid this. HOWEVER, I do believe there’s somethin about goin into the store in daylight and coming out in the darkness that ruins our perspective. Not to mention “the Arctic cold, a super-sized furry hood, imperfect eyesight” and the salt-faded finish 🙂
The trouble with this mega grocery store is that you don’t usually find the same parking space every time. I used to park on one end, by the liquor store, and I might have to go back to that. Easier to find the car and I get more walking in.
Yes, aim for at least the same side. The mega lots here have letters and numbers and I also aim for a light post. Cause you know, Safety First!
Just a few minutes ago, my husband came home to unlock our outside storage unit for me because I couldn’t find my keys. Then he proceeded to lock HIS keys inside the unit. After a long search for his keys, remembering he left them in the unit…and locked up. Then we HAD to find my keys or no Holiday Decorations for us!!
Ya, I like to blame my age…
Does LOL mean Laughing Out Loud? Or Little Ole Lady?
Ah, yes, we all belong to the same club. The human mind works in wonderfully strange ways, doesn’t it? Many years ago, I locked my keys in the car – twice in one week. Since then, I always make sure I have the car keys in my hand or purse. It’s been working pretty well except when the keys fall into the black hole in my purse and I have to take everything out to find them.
this is why i used to have a jack-in-the-box antenna ball. there’s no antenna on my new car so I rely on my cat stickers.
weird fyi: If the unlock option doesn’t trigger any car, I’ve read that if you hold it under your chin and open your mouth, the signal will amplify in the direction you’re facing. i haven’t tried it but will if I ever need to – what’s a little “lookin crazy” vs finding my car?!?
Never heard of that. I’d probably hold off on that option until the very end because by then I’d be acting crazy too.
Cat stickers? You rock.
I have a Simon’s Cat sticker that points at the gas tank (supposed to have a food bowl there but I lost it) and “Pussies Against Trump” on the window. Have to remember to re-adhere my FSM plate to the back (new one came with crappy tape).
Sometimes I’ve been able to find some little thing I misplaced in the house by not thinking about it and letting my body take me to it because my subconscious knows where it is. But I’ve never tried it with a car.
Hmmm…something else to try when I’m searching for something inside. It was so cold out that night, that all my body wanted was to go somewhere warm. It didn’t care about the location of the car!
This was fun to read. The quote is so true though.
Thank you Chandan. I enjoyed writing this post.
I have this “oh no” moment every time I go somewhere out of town by plane and park a rental car before having a fun night out. I go back to the lot and have a mini panic attack realizing I didn’t remember what my rental looked like. Thank God for the auto lock butoon or panic button. 😀
That really was an excellent invention. It saves on the wandering and panicking.
Well it addresses a whole different form of panic doesn’t it?
Button, not butoon. Lol
Butoon…a musical instrument? (I knew what you meant.)
Haha! A musical instrument might help in that situation. Lol