Warning! If you are of the male species, this may not be the post for you. To all others, THIS is what happens when I have nothing else to write about (unless you want to know about a dental appointment, allergies, or the amount of cat hair sucked up by the vacuum cleaner).
Proceed with caution…
I hate shopping for a bra. Hate, hate, hate it…with a passion. It is akin to having a tooth pulled at the dentist. Or fingernails on the chalkboard. Or listening to a dry, boring speaker right after eating a turkey club sandwich, fries and a brownie. Or trying on a bathing suit in spring when the skin is white and the extra 10 holiday pounds have not gone away.
Bra shopping is NOT fun.
Wipe that smile off your pretty, blonde face, it’s not funny or fun.
I dread the trip to the department store. While some women have a hard time with fitting due to their SIZE, I have a hard time fitting due to my size. One would think that not being endowed would make it easy, but it does not. Girlfriend Kelly agrees. She has “the nones” which is the flattened interpretation of “the girls.” I’m there with you, Kel. Let’s just say that coming up with a bra size that has two letters instead of one has been a great help, although that doesn’t always work across brands. And, when I think I’ve found the right brand and size, a busty babe at Victoria’s Secret announces that I do not need two letters, I just need a new letter.
Really? I’m so confused.
- Did you know that women spend $16 billion worldwide, annually, on bras? (Spent begrudgingly, except for the ^pretty blonde woman^.)
- Or that we each have nine boulder holders (tm Natasha) or pebble slings in our dresser drawer? (I come in at a mere 5.)
- Or that the average cup size is 36C? (I feel so inept.)
- Or that women change sizes at least six times in their life? (That would explain my need for a new letter.)
In October 1932, the S.H. Camp and Company correlated the size and pendulousness of a woman’s breasts to letters of the alphabet, A through D. Pendulousness? I can’t relate. How about a description for me and my kindred spirits? Noncleavageness comes to mind.
It’s not just the size and fit that is at issue here. It’s also the price. I will pay a mere $20 for a long-sleeved T-shirt that covers my entire upper torso, but must fork over $30 for a bra that covers a teeny tiny piece of me. (That’s the cost of the cheap bra at Kohl’s after using the 30% off coupon, buying three bras, and getting a $10 coupon to purchase a $20 pair of underwear.) Seriously, I don’t have that kind of money for bras and I will not stand on the street corner, dressed like a cheeseburger, in order to make extra money to buy one.
Thankfully, bra shopping is not in my near future. I was reminded of the ordeal, recently, as it was Natasha’s turn to sift through racks and racks of multi-colored cotton, polyester and spandex lace. She had a coupon and meant business. One hour later, Natasha declared victory. Lucky. Not everyone can find three bras that fit in one hour.
“I can never find the right bras.” ~Kate Upton~
See? Even the supermodels hate shopping for a brassiere. If Kate Upton can’t find a bra to fit, what hope do I have to find the correct size or letter?
What of your feelings, my friend, of bra shopping? Love it? Hate it? Are you forever in search of the perfect letter?