Digging Heels

Cognitive   Dissonance   The space in between   thoughts and beliefs   where the mind is consistent and not   brain digs heels deeply   reluctant, unwilling to admit mistakes   unwilling to change thoughts   justifying   dissolving truth and reason   dismissing facts   believing the choice is right   because it must be   the longer it is believed   the more certain it becomes   blinded to the negativity   taking sides   heels digRead more

SoCS: In This Joint

What is this joint, where I sacrifice? It’s barren, lonely, dark What is this place, where I walk? The path of crushing pain Why am I here? What have I done, my friends to deserve this horrid end? Have I not loved you enough? Not forgiven you enough? I thought I kept you well fed. Yet, here I am. In this joint, this Calvary, I spend my final hours, alone and with bretheren. Eating, hanging out, walking in a gardenRead more

Rain on Fleshy Cheeks

Stop Inhale life Exhale sadness Draw in the earthiness of rain It cleanses pavement Soaks into human joy Stop Inhale life Exhale fear Feel the moist tears from heaven On our fleshy cheeks Tears of peace Flooding hearts with calm Stop Inhale life Exhale doubt Allow the rain to wash it Away to the gutter, the sewer Positive thoughts form a puddle In which to stomp and play Stop Inhale life Exhale the unimportant Let go of frivolous everything FindRead more

Anxiously Waiting…

Sitting here, waiting for a game to begin around 5:40 pm CST. Getting anxious by the minute. I’m a football fan and my forever team is the Green Bay Packers. No question, will live and die a Packer fan. You’ve heard of Vince Lombardi, right? The Lombardi Trophy? He was the coach of the Packers from 1959 to 1967. Led the team to five NFL championships and won the first two Super Bowls. Lombardi was ahead of his time asRead more

Sober Silence

“Facebook and Twitter badgering isn’t going to serve us well today. Too much cheerleading on one side or the other and not enough sober silence.” ~Anonymous~ The quote is a telltale sign of our current social media climate. Of human relationships that are not purposefully silent or kind. It feels the norm of late, rather than the exception. Anger. Badgering. Disrespect. Name-calling. On media outlets that started as places for people to “connect,” make friends, share photos and laughs. And,Read more

Letting Go of 40 Years

What would you do if a friend of 40 years suddenly stopped talking? Radio silence. No phone calls, no letters, no explanation, no nothing. It will be three years in December since I last talked to my friend. I’ve been alternately sad, hurt and angry at various times, but Thursday was the worst. Perhaps it was the mutual acquaintance I ran into the day before who shared that he had seen my friend a month ago, had lunch with her,Read more

Between the Cotton Sheets

Her muffled, fearful yelp woke him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked as his hand fell softly across the ivory of her shoulder. “Did you have a nightmare?” “Yes, it was awful. I was living in a house with snakes.” “Really? That sounds incredibly creepy.” Margo rolled over onto her right side, toward her love, the angst of a slithery dream still fresh on her face. “It was so weird, as if living with snakes was normal. They were everywhere –Read more

Processing 16 Years

Over coffee on Saturday morning, a friend asked me, “How are you processing?” She was asking about moving forward from my mother’s passing in February. A number of friends have asked this question in various formats, with concern in how I’m handling a new chapter of life. It’s a question that’s contemplative in response, at times difficult and at times easy to put into words, but I will try to answer. This is more than about mom, it’s a journeyRead more

Faithfully Home

  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7 Mom found her way home last Friday, February 15, 2019. Home to her family of 15, home to her husband Evan, and home to her Savior, Jesus Christ. It was time for the dementia to take a hike and for Pauline to feel freedom from her physical restraints. Mom went peacefully in her sleep, a blessing that most of us desire whenRead more

Worry

Questions, always questions Will I? Can I? What if? Thick as grandma’s gravy Murky as dog-day waters It hangs in the air like a dense fog that fails to lift Doubts, always doubts I won’t I can’t If will happen Never positive in thought Believing in armageddon It drags its victims along through a pool of coagulated sludge Fear, always fear I submit I cringe A chill rises Tomorrow is at the forefront Yesterday still concerns It lurks in an inkyRead more

A Letter to Charlie

Dear Charlie, It’s hard, isn’t it? I saw you wipe away the tears today and it broke my heart. I wanted to get up from my chair and give you a hug…but I barely know you. Instead, I remained silent and still. Your wife, Margie, has aphasia and it must be so difficult when you don’t understand her. She has attempted to “talk” to me several times, usually with a smile, and I simply nod and smile back. I haveRead more

SOCs: Staring at the Ceiling

I am laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Trying not to fall asleep. I woke up Friday morning at 4 a.m. due to the usual bladder issues and couldn’t get back to sleep. It was frustrating, especially since Gibbs didn’t bother me for food until my alarm went off at 5:05. Now I am home, contemplating the SOCs prompt while I am prone. As I stare at the off-white, interior upper limits, I am reminded of how IRead more