An Inanimate Conversation

In the grocery store parking lot, on a Monday afternoon, I asked myself the following question:

“Am I the only one who talks to inanimate objects?”

This came after I told a shopping bag to behave. I was trying to put two plastic bags into one of the many reusable shopping bags I have in the car and it was not cooperating. It’s possible that quietly yelling at the bag out loud finally forced it into submission.

There were no witnesses within earshot, thank goodness.

I not only talk to myself on occasion, but I tend to talk/yell/plead with inanimate objects as well.

I tell the smart TV to stop being dumb.

I commend the Christmas tree (it’s now a Valentine’s tree) on its soothing lights and colorful appearance.

I ask the cardboard box what I did to deserve the bending back of a fingernail (then I cry/swear from the pain).

I yell at whatever objects are not cooperating with whatever it is I am attempting to accomplish.

Is this a good thing or bad? Is talking to an inanimate object any better or worse than talking to Gibbs the cat and expecting an answer in human form?

Do I need professional help or is this normal?

Answers, please.

I’ll wait here and talk to the rock pile until you either laugh, roll your eyes, or reassure me that I’m not alone – with your animated comments.


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39 responses to An Inanimate Conversation

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I have a feeling there is not a counselor close by that hasn’t also taken part in this habit. But I’ll let you know if I find an anomaly, Judy. 😉

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Nothing wrong that I can see. I have also been known to apologize to the many inanimate objects I bump into. Some of those shopping carts need a stern warning from time to time. I also have lengthy conversations with pieces of wood in my shop when things aren’t going well, and I offer high praise when things fit perfectly.

    Keep on yapping, Mary 😊

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Hmmm…not sure I’ve apologized to an object yet, but I have done that with Gibbs when he tried to trip me and I ended up stepping on him instead. Sorry, buddy!
      No matter, Dan, I’ll keep on talking to things until I die or the authorities take me away in a straight jacket.

      Happy Wednesday – are you getting ice and/or snow again this week?

      • Dan Antion says:

        I remember bumping into a mannequin once and apologizing.

        I think our forecast is for rain and freezing rain 🙁

        Stay warm and safe, Mary.

  2. Maggie says:

    You are most certainly not alone. I talk to spills – “look what you’ve done to my floor” and to found objects – “so that’s where you were hiding”. I am fortunate they are not talking back – yet. 😂

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Ohhhh…I have done the “so that’s where you were hiding” or something similar to found items, especially when I finally find the car keys in the bottom of my purse. Glad you’re there with me, Maggie.

  3. Often talk to animate objects, & like Dan, I occasionally apologise to things if I bump into them 😂 My wife & I name most things as well; I have Snappy (DSLR), Lensy (lensball), Dereck (hoover), Stormy (bike), the list goes on 🤣

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I haven’t given my bicycle a name (I like Stormy), but often tell him he’s a “good boy.” I never expect an answer, only that he carry me along the trail without hitting a gopher hole or muddy rut.

  4. lois says:

    Plastic bags are known to be ornery. I have some boxes that talk back when I tell them to stay stacked the way I had them. Otherwise, my cats say everything sounds OK from our end.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Gibbs has been mute on the subject this morning, Lois. He’s still in morning nap mode, but that reminds me he is not above talking to the unseen ghost on the wall from time to time. Perhaps talking to objects is a genetic trait for both man and beast!

  5. John Hric says:

    As long as the inanimate objects don’t complain it is nobody else’s business. Move along nothing to see… and if they are jealous they can go find their own objects to talk to…

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Ha! Unlike my cat, wishing I could understand what he’s meowing about, I’m with you on the inanimate objects. They can stay quiet while I command their attention and actions.

  6. quiall says:

    I am forming a club with my books, my paints and my walls. We could use the company. We do try not to speak to each other when there are other people around. We’re afraid they wouldn’t understand our relationship.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      It is a very special club that you have, Pam. Books have written words, so why not speak them? And paints, as well, can have colorful verbal expression. Why not talk to them, although you are wise to keep it a special secret (shhh!!!) club.

  7. Fun! My amore keeps chatting with our furnace and even caressing it and calling it Pretty (but it’s the product’s name for real), so I’m jealous, but warm. 😀

    • bikerchick57 says:

      If caressing Pretty and talking to her keeps you warm, then no harm done, right? However, you could do the same with the refrigerator or your car so that amore can be jealous too. 🙂

  8. willowdot21 says:

    Perfectly normal as I was just saying to the kitchen table inanimate objects are much better listeners 💜😄

  9. catladymac says:

    Let me put it this way : if I DIDN’T do those kind of things you describe, I would be even crazier than I am.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      So, this is it’s own form of therapy – letting your feelings out with inanimate objects. And it’s free!

  10. murisopsis says:

    I’ve been talking to animals and inanimate objects for a very long time. In college my roommate would loan out her magazine (Playgirl) and they would return it by sliding it under the door. I once stepped on the centerfold and I did apologize… I was able to form a kind of communication bond with my cats and dogs. They seemed to understand (even if they didn’t comply)!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I talk to my cat, but whether or not he understands is up for debate. Mostly, when I tell him to be quiet, he gets louder. I am better off to talking to myself or the microwave.

  11. dweezer19 says:

    Ummm… no, we, I mean you don’t need any help at all. This sounds perfectly normal to me. 😉🙂

  12. Ally Bean says:

    I talk to many inanimate objects, often after they start the conversations with all their beeps and dings and bells. It’d be rude to not reply. 😊

      • Ally Bean says:

        The coffeemaker is a chatty fellow, and the washer & dryer are quite the conversationalists.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        There might be a joke in there…”What did the coffee maker say to the washer and dryer…” 😀

  13. JoAnna says:

    When I was in my twenties, I talked to my 69 Dodge Dart all the time, mostly about starting, not breaking, and making it to the gas station. I apologize remorsefully when I bang my guitar into something. I’m not 100% sure these things are really inanimate.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      It’s possible that our vehicles and mysical instruments have souls, JoAnna. That would make some sense, but also a reason to talk nice or apologize to them. This past week I patted the bike seat and told him that as soon as the cold weather leaves, we’ll be back on the trail again. I can see he’s getting cabin fever.

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