#SoCS: The UnreaLISTic

So, Linda G. Hill wants me to make or talk about a list for Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Hmmm…

Regular readers already know I keep a gratitude list. I’ll leave that one alone.

Shopping list? No, probably not, although I can tell you that shrimp, yogurt and kettle chips were on the last one.

I’m 99% sure you do not want me to bore you with “my favorite foods” or “the names of all cats I’ve ever served” or “number of books I bought and still haven’t read” lists.

Instead, I am presenting an UnreaLISTic accounting of unmet needs from both Gibbs and his human, because we both have a number of unfulfilled expectations.

First up is Gibbs:

1. An unending supply of cat kibble and wet chicken or fish glop in my food bowl 24/7.
2. Undisturbed sleep, which means the human will never rise as long as I have sprawled myself over her lap.
3. I wish the humans would stop telling me to “shut up.” I like to talk. Let me talk. Incessantly.
4. Catching a bird daily and leaving it at the foot of the human.
5. The ability to eat mackerel or whatever I want off the kitchen table.
6. The ability to surf the kitchen table or counters whenever I want to search for food.
7. Uninhibited access to the top of the kitchen cabinets. It’s the high point in the apartment, from which I can rule the kingdom.
8. The human’s undivided attention, always. No typing blog posts or leaving me unless I’m sleeping.
9. Did I mention an unending supply of cat kibble and wet chicken or fish glop in my food bowl 24/7?
10. A large million-dollar palace and cushy gold throne. The apartment is okay, but I deserve so much more. Room to roam, to play and to sleep.

While Gibbs waits and waits and waits for his unreaLISTic desires to be met, I will share mine.

1. A flat stomach, no wrinkles, no cellulite.
2. The ability to eat whatever I want and never gain weight.
3. Building muscles and stamina by writing blog posts.
4. A strong, handsome and single Scottish highlander, about 6’2″, around 60 years of age, reddish brown hair, blue eyes, kind and compassionate.
5. A strong, handsome and single Englishman, accent included, about 6’2″, around 60 years of age, brown hair, blue eyes, kind and compassionate.
6. A single man, 5’8″ or taller, any age that doesn’t brand me a cougar, any color hair and eyes, kind and compassionate. Must be breathing.
7. The constant determination to exercise, no excuses, if writing blog posts doesn’t work.
8. Someone to make gourmet meals and do dishes every day, along with cleaning house (see 4-6 above).
9. A free limitless supply of dark chocolate and craft beer.
10. A log cabin in the middle of 25 acres of peaceful woods, two baby goats in pajamas, a dog, two cats and either 4, 5 or 6 above.

There you have it. The unreaLISTic desires, expectations and needs of yours truly and the Gibbster. We hold out hope that at least one item from our list can come true. Gibbs might see #10 if I buy a lottery ticket and win and I might see #10 realized if dreams ever do come true.

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday is the brainchild of author Linda G. Hill. Every Friday, Linda provides her followers with an inspiring blogger’s prompt. It can be a word or words and sometimes bonus points are involved (my favorite). Linda asks us to write without editing, other than correcting spelling errors.

Just go with the flow.

Like a babbling brook or rain drops. Click HERE if this type of writing floats your boat or helps with your decision-making. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “list.” Make or talk about a list. Enjoy!