SoCS: Too Much Sh*t

I am not as sharp as I used to be.

I never professed to have a steel-trap memory or the ability to retain every piece of knowledge that ever entered through two blue eyes or waxy ear canals. Although, I seem to remember a higher brain-functioning me prior to the age of 50.

Could have been a dream.

Could be I have a flexible memory.


For the last several years, I have blamed my lack of sharpness on the multi-tasking of work, intertwined with a busy personal life. As a former staff psychologist once declared, it was a matter of “cognitive overload,” or too much sh*t wandering around in the brain.

And I swear the sh*t leaked out onto my pillow every night, through the waxy ear canals, leading me to concern when I couldn’t remember one of the hundreds of processes at work or the name of the person I met 10 minutes ago.

But now I don’t have the excuse of work as I retired from that nonsense this past Wednesday. I don’t have the excuse of a busy personal life because the pandemic has brought that to a halt the past five months. I don’t have the excuse of cognitive overload unless I want to fill my brain up with information that doesn’t provide joy, entertainment, or new intelligence of my own choosing. I’m hoping the fog of too much sh*t goes away in the coming weeks as I settle into a new being – one without deadlines, Excel spreadsheets, computer programs, countless Zoom meetings, and the over-scheduling of personal activities.

A friend of mine, who retired four years ago, gave me the advice of “don’t get involved in anything for at least two months.” It was advice to give myself time to decompress and find a balance in this newfound freedom. To let my head clear and sharpen the pencils that had become dull.

It’s a wise, pointed path to take.

Then again, if retirement doesn’t serve to help the aging memory, I will always have post-it notes, email reminders, and a cell phone that reminds me when to visit the chiropractor, watch the new season of Star Trek Discovery and check for Linda’s SoCS prompt on Friday morning.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is the brainchild of author Linda G. Hill. Every Friday, Linda provides her followers with an inspiring blogger’s prompt. It can be a word or words and sometimes bonus points are involved (my favorite). Linda asks us to write without editing, other than correcting spelling errors.

Just go with the flow.

Like a babbling brook or rain drops. Click HERE if this type of writing floats your boat or helps with your decision-making. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is β€œsharp.”

31 responses to SoCS: Too Much Sh*t

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Thanks Judy! I’m sure age will eventually not be kind to my memory, but I’m hoping that the loss of the work brain matter will free up some space for retention of what matters most.

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Clearing out the work stuff takes a while. I still catch myself thinking about something, like it’s time to prepare the 2021 budget. Then I quickly realize “that sh*t’s not mine to worry about anymore.”

    Enjoy the sweet breaking in period of this new chapter in the book of Mary.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Funny, I was wondering yesterday if I missed something and then, like you, I decided it’s no longer my job and they’ll figure it out. I did leave prior to an annual project that I did not enjoy as it was very time-consuming, so I’ll be smiling around the beginning of October, when someone else has to deal with it.

      I am enjoying the first few days of sleeping in and not having much of an agenda. It feels good.

  2. loisajay says:

    I was thinking about you this week ’cause I knew the “R” word was coming! I had a couple phone calls and texts after I retired: “Hey Lois, do you remember the password to…” Nope. Like Sgt Schultz said, “I remember nothing!” Mary, enjoy retirement. Covid be damned. Outta work is outta work and I love it! Have the kitties noticed mom’s home all the time?!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I told my bosses and support staff they could call or text me for a few weeks if they had questions, but after that, I’m pretty sure I will not remember anything, much like Schultz. πŸ˜‰
      I’m not sure if the kitties notice a difference or not since I had been working from home the last five months. Maybe a difference that I’m sleeping later and not hanging out at the computer desk all day.

  3. Cheryl says:

    When work finally tapes up the last box and vacates your mind, your beautiful new tenents-peace and creativity-can move on in. πŸ™‚

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Great analogy, Cheryl. I AM hoping to feel more creative, especially over the winter months when I’m spending more time inside. I think I may get back to scrap booking and bible journaling and see what happens. πŸ™‚

  4. Maggie says:

    Congratulations. It is an adjustment. Experiment with things and find what truly brings you joy. And do take that break.

  5. John Holton says:

    Happy retirement! Be sure to make note of anything you want to remember. Don’t trust your memory, especially after 50. I’ve always had a mind like a sieve…

  6. J-Dub says:

    My former therapist called it multitasking madness. Cousin to analysis paralysis. Too much Sh*t is much more apropos. Wishing you the very best in retirement Mary!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Thank you! I like the multitasking madness name, because it really is madness. Glad that work stuff is over and done!

  7. murisopsis says:

    Congrats on your new adventure! I retired a year ago and I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner!! Have fun and don’t forget to write about all the new things!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Thanks! I wanted to retire a few years ago, but glad I waited. It feels right now and, yes, I will definitely write about the new things.

  8. Laura says:

    Your friend’s advice sounds incredibly wise. I stay at home/work at home/manage a house full of people and animals (how do we even phrase stay-at-home-mom these days?) but I’ll keep that 2 month tip in mind when we become empty nesters. Transition can be challenging.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Laura, it sounds like you need to eat your Wheaties and breathe! You have quite the challenge at home, so here’s wishing you moments of peace and calm until the empty nester time arrives.

  9. JoAnna says:

    It’s a slower pace, retirement, but amazing how easily the time fills up. I’ve just started watching Star Trek Discovery, getting to know the characters and loving it. So glad to have the time and flexibility to enjoy it. Thank God for post it notes and calendars!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I have a feeling my time will fill up too, JoAnna. You’d better catch up with Discovery…season 3 starts on October 15th. πŸ™‚

  10. Joanne Sisco says:

    Love this, Mary.

    I think your pencils are already plenty sharp … but retirement will make the colours brighter πŸ™‚

  11. Don’t forget all the existential stress we’re all under right now can affect our acuity. It’s nice not to be on someone else’s schedule.

  12. Bohemian says:

    Cognitive Overload, I’m quite sure I have that, thanks for the diagnosis! Enjoy Retirement, I kept popping in and out of Retirement because I didn’t have a Friend give Sage advice like your Friend did. I kept trying to fill up space and time, since all I’d known my entire Adult Life was that hectic pace of the Corporate Lives I’d led, which were so demanding. Of raising Children and raising some Grandchildren while doing all of that… and then Full time Caregiving when The Man required it. So, being Still… doing Nothing… just made me restless and feeling like I should be doing SOMETHING… anything… Pandemic just required me to quit the last time I popped out of Retirement to do some part time Work that is just easy Blissful stuff, but still required Working 3 Days a Week. This is the longest lull in NOT WORKING OUTSIDE OF THE HOME I’ve ever had and I’m enjoying it actually. Some days I don’t even get out of my Pajamas… and it’s Okay. I still have one 14 Year Old Grandchild left at Home to finish raising and The Man still requires Full Time Caregiving, but both of them can do more now than a few Years ago, so I have more personal time, free time, it’s Priceless. So… enjoy yours… Life is or could be shorter than we think it may be and this is no Dress Rehearsal.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Thank you for sharing a part of your life and retirement. I hope both of us can spend more days in pajamas and relax!

  13. Liz says:

    Happy retirement. Wish you all the best in everything you plan to do!!! Stay safe….

  14. joey says:

    I’ve never retired, but I would think you need a bit of time to unwind mentally? I can’t think of any other transition so big where you could just snap right out of it.
    My husband and I were just discussing yesterday how our children have absolutely no idea how much sh*t is in our heads and we don’t wish it on them, we just wish they would be a bit more patient since we are not young and hip and instead of remembering what rapper is dating which movie star, we must remember insignificant things, like what the freeze date is, whether the county assessor’s office is on the fort or by the post office, and whether we did, in fact, already take our pills.

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