I have suffered with motion sickness all of my life.
As a child and teenager, I discovered two things: 1) The Tilt-A-Whirl and most spinning amusement rides do not co-habitate well with a motion-challenged stomach, and 2) reading a book in the backseat of a car while on a family vacation does not end well for anyone.
As an adult, there have been additional lessons.
Lake Michigan and motor trolling for salmon in choppy waters is a big NO. A former husband sitting next to me, eating tuna and crackers, asking me what’s wrong as I turn green is not only a NO, it’s also mitigation for physical violence if I would have chosen that path.
I tried Latin dancing several years ago because it was free. When the twirling started, I stopped going.
I don’t mind airplane travel as long as there is no turbulence, stacking before landing, or unexpected bumpiness. Twice in my life, I prayed, “Just land the damn plane, God…please,” to which He did, but afterwards I seriously required ginger ale and time to sit motionless for an hour. When I went to see brother over Thanksgiving, the landing in D.C. was extremely bumpy. The wind was at fault. I thought a bottle of ginger ale and an easy car ride would take care of things; however, my brother does not drive like an 85 year old grandma. By the time we got to my brother’s place, after whipping around several corners, I thought I was going to have to use his bathroom inappropriately. But I held it together, thank goodness. How embarrassing that could have been!
Attending a laser light show at the Barlow Planetarium sounds pretty cool, right? Roommate Natasha thought so as she gave me five tickets for a birthday four or five years ago. We went with three friends, sat in a chair and waited for the overhead show to begin. When the emcee started to talk about how we may feel movement even though we’re sitting still, that would have been the first clue to get up and leave. But before I could make that determination, the laser light show started and guess what? The light show was all about roller coasters and amusement rides. Nooooooooo!!! Natasha, who also has her own version of motion sickness, looked at me with those “Oh crap!” eyes and then we both covered them. Our eyes. For most of the show. The other three weren’t bothered by the feeling of motion, so at least they enjoyed the lights.
- I never go on an amusement ride unless it’s a huge, slow-moving ferris wheel on Chicago’s Navy Pier.
- I never go out on Lake Michigan, in a boat, in anything but calm water. This would be applicable to all of the Great Lakes and probably the ocean.
- I have never been on a cruise and will not be on one before I die.
- In the instance that I become famous, you will never see me on Dancing with the Stars.
- I do not read books, scroll Facebook on my phone, knit, crochet, fill in newspaper crossword puzzles or anything else while riding in an automobile. I sit and look out the window. Or sleep.
I still fly. I have every intention of flying when the desire arises. It beats a much longer, do-nothing car ride to D.C.
Every time I fly, I will hope and pray (beg for mercy) that a liter of ginger ale or use of the barf bag is not a necessity, and that God and the pilot will land the plane smoothly, without incident…for my stomach’s sake.
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