“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
Confession: I have a teeny tiny holding tank. I swear, the size of a walnut.
It has been an issue for much of my adult life.
Especially when a movie exceeds the two hour mark.
Made it through Downton Abbey recently. Made it through Black Panther and Bohemian Rhapsody last year.
Not sure how I made it through all three Lord of the Rings movies, although I’m sure the pressure of sitting through the third hour was distracting.
I don’t drink anything for an hour or two before the movie and nothing during the movie.
Liquid abstinence is required, but snacks are acceptable.
I like to throw a bag of cashews or a protein bar into my purse because edge-of-the-seat, super-hero action or snarky Violet Crawley retorts work up an appetite.
Alfred Hitchcock (RIP) had the right idea.
Except that a number of his movies were longer than two hours. Topaz, Marnie, North by Northwest, and Rebecca to name a few.
I suspect his bladder was larger than mine.
As are those of the three-hour movie makers.
I can see the writing on the walnut.
I’m going to be like the older woman sitting in front of me recently at the theater. She came in late, then left ten minutes into the movie to use the bathroom.
Yup, that’ll be me when I’m 80, if not sooner.
This post has been brought to you by a walnut and movies and Linda Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. If you are wondering what One-Liner Wednesday is all about, CLICK HERE.
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