Pen Thievery

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”

~George Washington~

I cannot tell a lie.

I must offer a confession.

A pen and pencil thief am I.

I’m not sure how it happened. Was it consciously or did an inner darkness find its way to my soul?

I cannot tell you when this started, but pen thievery has been in my blood for a number of years.

It may have started with a work pen that inadvertently found its way into my purse.

Or a red and black number from the chiropractor’s office after signing my name.

Or a black and orange lovely from church. Sinner!

Or a cheap stick pen from the hotel with the fluffy pillows.

I offer no excuse because I have none. It simply happens.

From an absent mind to sticky fingers.

My only mitigation is that it’s not all thievery.

Some of the pens are from vendors at a conference or free samples, mailed by the vendor who wants more of our business.

Some of the utensils are blue pencils with purple, fuzzy toppers that came from I-don’t-know-where.

If only I had a pencil sharpener…


I would suggest not getting too close to me with that pen in your hand.

You never know what cat mug it will end up in.

Or what bill it will pay.

Yes, a thief of writing instruments am I.

I duly confess.

This post has been brought to you by fuzzy purple pencil toppers and Linda Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. If you are wondering what One-Liner Wednesday is all about, CLICK HERE.

Linda G. Hill is the Queen of One-Liners and rules over her kingdom of followers. Check out today’s post and commit yourself to join the Queen’s one-liner army because there’s no fighting or blood, only comradery and fun with words.

41 responses to Pen Thievery

  1. Dan Antion says:

    So you’re the reason why the Post Office always had those chains 🙂

    Nice job for #1LinerWeds, Mary.

  2. Joanne Sisco says:

    As salve for your guilty soul I offer the following – if it is branded by an organization or business, you have simply taken the advertising that they have offered. This is fair game.

    If it is a fancy bejewelled number that rivals the grandeur of a Faberge egg that someone would have lovingly selected or received as a gift, then I say to you – for shame you miscreant!

    I’m guessing there are no sparkly bejewelled numbers in your cat mugs 😉

  3. loisajay says:

    I laughed when I saw Dan’s comment. The local bank (when I actually went into a bank!) started chaining their pens to the desk, also.

  4. Laura says:

    A fun job with the prompt. And it’s true — nothing irritates me more than a poor excuse.

  5. joey says:

    OH DEAR, OH DEAR! Thank you for the warning. I am unreasonably attached to my pens.

  6. dweezer19 says:

    You are not alone! By hook or by crook we have mugfulls of various pens, and yet we still have only one favorite each that we love to use-and they must be purchased. 🙄

    • bikerchick57 says:

      That’s how I am at work. I have my favorite pen and the rest sit there, waiting for someone to accidentally take it away.

  7. Ha! Mary J, who knew confessions could be such fun. 😀 LOL, it gives all new meaning to the affirmation phrase “The pen is in your hand!” Hugs!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I grew up Catholic, so have had some practice in confessing, Teagan. I am an open book of sorts…I admit to my faults, but let’s not talk about the paper clips that go along with the pens. Okay?

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