Near Miss

They called it a near miss, but I called it strategic planning.

“What are you doing, G?”

“Admiring my recent work, dear sister.”

The dark slits of her eyes narrowed as her chest heaved in disbelief. “Seriously? Why would you admire this work? It’s uninteresting and has no meaning.”

“No meaning? Of course it has meaning,” he said as he smoothed insulted gray hair.

“I don’t get it.”

“I’m strategic in the placement. It’s exactly where it’s supposed to be, attaching itself to the side of the large brown box. I call it art.”

There is silence in this space, a green square room with a patio door and a window that faces east into the morning sun.

“Sister? Are you listening?”


“Sorry, I heard the songbirds outside, the ones that come with the end of cold weather. My mind wandered to the warmth of spring and the opportunity to sing with the birds.”

“Do you realize you bleat like a goat when you sing with the birds?”

“My apologies G. I am a diva, not a songstress.”

“I know that, but let’s get back to the placement of my art form.”

“It’s not an art form. It’s a blob of brown in a square box. No one would call that art and I would call it a near miss.”

“I leave it out for all to witness my abilities.”

“You’re lazy and a bit narcissistic. Mary is going to be mad. Truly mad.”

“Why? What could she be mad about?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps it’s that she has to put her shoulder into removing your piece of art from the box.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Gibbs, your work is poo. Smelly poo in a gravelly brown box.”

“Strategic poo, my dear sister. Artistically strategic.”

Dear Readers, I’m currently engaged in an online creative writing course through a local library. This is the result of a first assignment: Writing a conversation in 20 minutes, 300 words or less, using one of five prompts and including a twist at the end. I chose “They called it a near miss, but I called it…” Needless to say, I witness these near misses quite frequently and couldn’t help but include the furry ones in a response… although the ending was probably not a twist for many of you. Hope you enjoyed and I will be sharing other assignments over the next six weeks as deemed appropriate and printable.

15 responses to Near Miss

  1. Joanne Sisco says:

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder – and I expect Gibbs isn’t the only one who views his output as art šŸ˜†

  2. Dan Antion says:

    I guessed where this was heading, but only because I have followed the artist formerly known as Gibbs, for several years. Good job with the assignment. They do seem to attach a certain meaning to the placement.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I figured this would not be a surprise for you. I’m wondering, though, what symbol Gibbs is going to identify himself and his poo. šŸ˜Ž

      • Dan Antion says:

        I’m going to try not to think about that. MuMu picks at the plastic liner until it has about a million little holes in it. It’s a challenge for her, every time the box is cleaned and a new liner is installed.

  3. marianallen says:

    But the scent is part of the whole artistic experience. You don’t get the full sensory impact without it.

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