“Alas, poor mackerel in a can. I knew it, Ziva, a fish of infinite taste, of most excellent cuisine. It hath borne me on my lips several times, and now, how cherished in my imagination it is! I want to gorge upon it!”
“Gibbs, what are you doing?”
“I’m filling in for mom, writing for her blog. What do you think?”
“No.”
“No? I thought I was giving everyone a bit of cat culture.”
“By bastardizing Shakespeare?”
“How did you know?”
“Gibbs! That is one of the most well-known lines from Hamlet. Everyone will know you are plagiarizing.”
“When did you become the artsy fartsy Queen?”
“While you are insufferably yowling at mom, the other human and the curly red-headed girl, I am paying attention to them. Shakespeare is curly red-head’s passion and she recently played Horatio in an updated version of Hamlet. Mom and the other human went to see her perform last week and, for whatever reason, mom has repeated the “Alas, poor Yorick” part a few times. Out loud. I don’t think she knows anything else, but I give her credit for sitting through what some people might call boring.”
“Wow, I didn’t know you knew so much. I thought it was all sleep, snore, purr and eat in your world. I’m surprised.”
“Thanks…I think.”
“Well, Ziva, what else can I write? Mom wanted to take the day off and relax, so I’d like to put something out there for her.”
“How about original poetry? Either free verse or something that rhymes or maybe haiku.”
“God bless.”
“Huh? What? I said HAIKU. It’s a form of poetry, not a sneeze. A haiku is a Japanese poem, three short lines that don’t rhyme, five syllables in the first and third lines, seven syllables in the middle line.”
“What is a syllable?”
“Oh boy, Gibbs. Everyone calls you smart, but not really. You’re just a smart-ass.”
“Shut up. I AM smart. Just in other ways, like knowing how to get what I want.”
“That’s called incessant and bratty.”
“Shut up.”
“No, you shut up and write a haiku. A syllable is one part of a word. Sometimes it’s the entire word. Like word. Gibbs is one syllable while Ziva is two syllables.”
“Oh, okay. I get it. Give me a minute and I’ll come up with something.”
“Shall I sing the theme song to Jeopardy?”
“Shut up.”
*10 minutes later*
“Okay Ziva, I think I have something for mom’s blog.”
“Get on with it. I’m getting sleepy and will soon require a nap.”
I lust for a fish
Opened can of mackerel
Left on the table
“You can’t let that go, huh? That’s as good as it gets?
“What else can I write about?”
“There’s more to life than food.”
“Says the pot, calling the kettle black.”
“Shut up. How about a haiku for the birds?”
“Oh yeah…give me a few minutes.”
*10 minutes later*
Lovely chirping bird
How beautiful is thy sound
I want to eat you
“Oh Good Lord…”
“Ziva, this is about birds, not lords.”
“It’s an expression, Gibbs. One of slight disgust.”
“What do you mean disgust? You want to eat them too!”
“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t say that on mom’s blog. She wants kind or funny or heart-warming stories, not haiku’s about committing bird murder.”
“Sorry, it’s what I know. Why don’t you give it a shot Miss Cultured Smarty Cat? Let’s see if you can write a suitable haiku.”
“Okay, give me a few minutes.”
*10 minutes later*
Soft fluffy pillow
Feathered comfort on a bed
I go to sleep now
“You are no better at this haiku thing. I write about food and you write about sleep. Perhaps we could combine our talents and write about the litter box. What do you think?”
“Ziva?”
“Hellooooo?”
*snore, snore, snore*
My dearest Ziva
In need of a cat C-pap
Or roto rooter
“Hey mom?”
“Yes Gibbs?”
“I think I finally have something for you.”
“That’s great. I’m anxious to see what you came up with this time. I am hopeful it’s about something other than sleeping, eating or behaving badly, but thanks for filling in buddy. I appreciate it.”
“Ummm…you might want to hold onto your ‘thanks’ a few minutes more. I need to finish editing.” (He says as he begins drafting the litter box haiku.)
*10 minutes later*
Mary J Melange 
These guys are great. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how it goes between cats. They covered all the important subject areas.
“Smart in other ways…” I think I’ve used that line.
Gibbs and Ziva thank you, as do I. The two furballs said that next time they will try to talk about something else, but don’t count on it. Sleep, eat, play, poop is all they know.
They say you should write about what you know.
True! 😺😺
LOL! A haiku should be about nature, and these were all about kitty nature, so these were all perfect! Tipper and Chickie say hello to Gibbs and Ziva. 🙂
Thanks Marian. The kids are grateful for your support and say “hi” to Tipper and Chickie. Gibbs is still working on the litter box haiku, waiting for the perfect natural specimen to be his muse.
😂 Clever kitties. 😉
Too smart for their own good!
Haha.
Great fun. The world is ready for a litter box haiku. Go Gibbs.
I’ll let him know you approve. 👍
‘I lust for a fish’….Thanks for the chuckle…
You’re welcome, Damyanti, although I believe Gibbs was being serious. 😏
Don’t tell Gibbs about my chuckle! 🙂
I won’t!
Haha! Thanks for sparing us the litterary haiku! 😛
So cute! Ziva seems like my kinda peeps! I can’t wait to get to bed… waiting on the fam *sigh* Round 3pm, I’m a lot more like Gibbs JUST PUT IT IN MY MOUTH! (maybe not canned mackerel…)
Litterary Hai
Ku ku ka choo ku ka choo
Proud of my own poo
Sorry, Gibbs was done with his pork and wanted to share. I told him to skip breakfast and go back to bed… his haikus may improve with sleep and an empty stomach.
Or not.
Pork? No…POEM. Stupid auto correct phone.
Haha!