Musings from the Pod IV: Holy Mackerel!

“Hey Gibbs!”

“Yes Ziva?”

“I have been meaning to ask you something. What happened Friday night?”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know what happened. I heard mom yelling at you. Loudly. I heard her say the “naughty” word and then mom chased you into the bedroom and shut the door.”

“Yeah, so?”

“What did you do?”

“Why do I always have to do something?”

“Mom yelled “naughty” at you, so that probably gives it away. You always seem to find trouble.”

“I am not trouble, I am a lovable soul.”

“That’s just a smokescreen. So, tell me what happened Mr. Lovey Dovey.”

“I thought I was entitled.”

“Entitled to what?”

“Mackerel.”

“Since when do you eat mackerel?”

“Since mom left it on the kitchen table for me.”

“What? Gibbs! You know you’re not supposed to be in the kitchen or on the table.”

“Well, jeepers, mom opened a can and walked away.”

“So what? She opens lots of cans and not all of them are for you.”

“I thought this one was. It was fishy smelly, like the stuff she puts in my dish.”

“Gibbs, the fact that she didn’t put the mackerel in your food dish should have been a clue.”

“Well, sometimes instincts overwhelm having a clue.”

“You do that a lot.”

“But I’m lovable. Everyone loves me. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“No, not when you are committing a heinous crime. You know better.”

“I couldn’t help myself.”

“Gibbs, we had something to eat less than an hour before and you certainly don’t look like you are starving.”

“Neither do you.”

“But I stay OFF the kitchen table when mom has her back turned.”

“But it was mackerel.”

“Gibbs…”

“Yes?”

“Are you aware of what your sentence will be for this crime going forward?”

“No. What have you heard?”

“No more people food for you.”

“WHAT???”

“No more people food. That’s what mom and the other human said. I heard them talking.”

“WHAT???”

“Yup, no chicken or liver or potato chips or mackerel.”

“WHAAAAT??????”

“Gibbs, are you okay? You look like you’re having a kitty stroke.”

“No more people food? Really? Are you sure?”

“I’m sure Gibbs. Sorry for your loss, but you did it to yourself.”

“I think I’m going to cry kitty tears.”

“Ohfercryinoutloud, be a man about this. Maybe this will teach you a lesson and you’ll start listening to the humans. Maybe you’ll stop yowling every time you think you should have something. Maybe you’ll stay out of the kitchen and off the table. Maybe you’ll stop believing every open can is a can for Gibbs.”

“Or maybe not. Instincts, you know. Gets me every time.”

“Stay off the table!”

“Not promising. I’m going to work on my sad kitty face, not talk as much, and purr and knead a lot this next week. Maybe mom and the other human will forgive me and throw me a chip.”

“Holy mackerel, you’re incorrigible!”

“Mackerel? Where’s the mackerel? Did mom open a can again?”

*sigh*

“I give up.”

“Just as well. I’m having this instinctual urge to go check out the kitchen again…”

(Next time on Musings from the Pod, Gibbs will give an inside look of what it’s like to be in never-ending solitary confinement in the big house, where all he gets is kibble and water.)

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20 responses to Musings from the Pod IV: Holy Mackerel!

  1. Dan Antion says:

    β€œDon’t taze me mom!” The big house, solitary, the hole? Oh my. Poor kitty.

    This is a great post. You must understand fluent entitled-Kitty.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Oh, he was soooooo naughty, Dan. I left the room for five minutes and came back to him running out of the kitchen and a piece of fish on the floor. And fishy paw marks on the table. He certainly felt entitled that night!

      • Dan Antion says:

        Did he at least get to eat some? Our cats are pretty good about not taking people food. Faith’s cats are thieves. Until I started watching them, I would have wondered about Gibbs eating chips. Moncton eats them, Preston plays with the bag.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        I don’t think he got much of the fish after it hit the floor. Poor thing. Tonight I tortured him by opening a can of salmon. Not thin my eye off the plate…

  2. joey says:

    Haha! Mackerel. I wonder if he really did think it was for him? You never can tell. And cats don’t seem to express guilt like dogs.

  3. Oh that poor, poor kitten. He’s obviously starving hungry and so deprived. No one loves him. No one cares about him. He’s a sad sad…. no. Hang on. This is Gibbs.

    Naughty little rascal.

    Laughing loudly here. LOVED this Mary! (Know this story by heart. LOLOLOL).
    Sending much love to you and the kitties. ~ Cobs. xxx

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Gibbs is and always will be incorrigible. But I shall love that rascal with all my hea……rt.

      Sorry Gibbs just jumped on me and broke my heart. πŸ™„πŸ˜

      Much love in return from the kids and I.

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