I Cant Hardly Not

“I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it.”

~Carl Sandburg~


I cant hardly not

Use goodly grammar

Its not in me.

I cant hardly not

Except past tents

or spell write in a spelling be

I cant hardly not

Like them those commas

Because I prefers a dot

I cant hardly not

Take your grammar advise

Already I has got

I cant hardly not

Put too sentences altogether

Heres one now

I cant hardly not

Be their

and still feed Marys cow

I cant hardly not

feel the affect

this poem has on you’re mind

I cant hardly not

End this write

i.e, e.g., do to the facts that I doesnt like short sentences because they dont say much and why make short sentences when you can drag them on and say alot about nothing while the peoples reading this are scratching they’re heads and wondering if the righter has gone mad in kind.


This post has been brought to you by certifiably bad grammar and Dan Antion’s last SoCS/beer post. If you are wondering what “One-Liner Wednesday is all about, CLICK HERE.

Linda G. Hill is the Queen of One-Liners and rules over her kingdom of followers. Check out last Wednesday’s post and commit yourself to join the Queen’s one-liner army this week because there’s no fighting or blood, only comraderie and fun with words.

 

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30 responses to I Cant Hardly Not

  1. Joanne Sisco says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!

    “Because I prefers a dot” šŸ˜†

    I used to love getting letters from my mom when I was in university. She didn’t use any punctuation. At all. Her letters were an art form and depending on where I chose to put the commas and periods, they were also quite entertaining šŸ˜†

    btw – I think I have a headache now from your poem šŸ˜–

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Sorry about the headache! I gave myself one trying to write this!

      I used to work in a facility’s business office where we would get notes from the residents, that weren’t necessarily well-written. It was interesting to decipher them…funny and sad at the same time. I wanted to give a few people a lesson in English and spelling.

      • Joanne Sisco says:

        When I’m dealing with people with English as a 2nd (3rd, or 4th) language, I cut them a LOT of slack. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t come close to equalling their effort if I tried the same in their 1st language.
        It’s the people who have only one language and never approached basic understanding of spelling and grammar. I wonder what happened along the way.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Not sure, perhaps they didn’t pay attention in school. Or they might be great at math, but not with spelling and grammar. There are also those afflicted with dyslexia. My ex had the latter and he seriously struggled with spelling.

      • Joanne Sisco says:

        Dyslexia! Yes, of course. I too have a friend with dyslexia and writing is torture for him.

  2. Dan Antion says:

    “I cant hardly not
    feel the affect…”

    You has to no that I struggle with that one šŸ˜‰

    Bonus points for posting what had to be hard for you to write, and extra bonus points for the pingback to the bar. This was funny and, there’s nothing better than starting a Wednesday with a smile.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Yes, Dan, I knows how you are effected over certain parts of the goodly grammar. I wrote this just for you. šŸ˜‰

      Thanks for the bonus points! Even though it’s giving some a laugh this morning, it really did hurt my brain to the post. I actually had to look up bad grammar so I used it affectively.

      • Dan Antion says:

        Ha ha – you could have reached out – phone a friend – I coulda helped. I can only imagine how hard it was for you.

  3. Having spent 12 years with the nuns and carrying a pocket dictionary around at all times, I enjoyed this immensely. I know I make mistakes, but I do still look up definitions and spelling quite a bit to try and avoid it. Want to diagram a sentence? I guess once a grammar nerd always a grammar nerd. šŸ™‚

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I use Google quite often to check spelling and grammar. As much as I dislike math, I have always loved the proper use of English and sentence structure. Then again, there are times when that goes out the window for effect…like today! šŸ™‚

  4. Shelley says:

    Love it!! šŸ™‚ So fun to break the rules once and awhile, eh? Happy Wednesday to you!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Thanks Shelley! This is one of the few ways I can break the rules and not get in legal trouble. šŸ˜‰

  5. JoAnna says:

    I woulda got a headache if I red it careful but after I done got in the flow I got tickled. šŸ™‚

  6. Laura says:

    Ack! Grammar edit overload!
    This is a perfect post and clearly made lots of us grammar freaks smile today. šŸ™‚

  7. joey says:

    Oy.
    That was creatively torturous! Made me smile šŸ™‚ I love to run on and on. That’s how I talk. Sometimes I spare y’all tho šŸ˜‰

  8. LB says:

    Hi Mary! Your post made me think of my favorite Southwest Virginia term: “I Might Could” (I might could run to the store OR I might could have a cookie).
    It’s so nice to be visiting …. finally!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I would bet that there are many regions of the country that have their bad grammar sayings. Nice to see you here, Laurie!

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