Violated by Age

I was violated last week.

Rather, the credit card issued to me by my employer was violated.

The fraud unit called Friday and left a message.

I returned the call Monday morning.

The woman on the other line asked a few questions.

To verify it was me.

Then she asked a few more questions about the charges.

Did you purchase a metal detector?

“Yes.”

Did you make a purchase on Vaping.com?

“No.” (I’m concerned that a hookah may have been purchased rather than an electronic cigarette, but I swear it wasn’t me.)

Did you make a purchase at Forever 21?

“No.” (I haven’t been that age in forever.)

Okay, thank you.

“Does this mean you’ll be issuing me a new card, that my current card is dead in the water?”

Yes. We’ll issue a new card, with new numbers, and send it to your Administrator.

“Okay, thank you.” (I guess. Rotten little fraudulent person, now I can’t buy stamps or paper or office supplies until the new card arrives. Ugh.)

We both spoke our pleasantries and hung up the phone.

Later, as I was telling one of my co-workers about the violations and where they occurred, he deadpanned,

“Ha! More like Forever 62.”

Gee.

Thanks for pointing out an age I haven’t quite reached.

I was not only violated,

but insulted as well.

Just wait, buddy…

I have plans for the duct tape from Staples.