“There is no APP for getting your a** to the gym”!
~ Coach Jimmy ~
Darn it all.
I was hoping for one.
Getting my a** to the gym can be a futile exercise in laziness and excuses, rather than determination – especially during the cold months of winter. I know I need to. I know my back will feel better for the effort. I know I will be stronger for it.
I seem to find many excuses.
Today’s one-liner comes from a fabulous personal trainer, one that leads Natasha and I in a Saturday morning (6:15 am) class, and someone who has given both of us many sets of functional and weight-lifting exercises over the past few years. I have several pages of ways that I can lift things up and put them down. By now, I should be pure muscle.
Where is the app? The one that would yell at me in a drill sergeant’s voice, “What? You didn’t go to the gym today? You poor excuse for a blue babe! Get your a** to the gym now or I’m going to tell your personal trainer and all of your friends. Weenie. Go. Now.”
Or maybe I need an app that would give me a shock every time I pick up the phone to check Facebook. The only way to stop it would be to have an employee at the gym enter a secret code into my phone after a sweat-inducing workout.
Then again, it might be nice to have an app that gives affirmations every time I burn 50 calories. “Keep going! You’re doing great! You look amazing! You’re super strong! Only twelve more reps!” This app is much better than the drill sergeant app. I could use one like that.
What I really need is the No-Brownies-and-Cookies-for-You app.
And the Stop-Eating-Potato-Chips app.
And the Chocolate-is-not-a-Food-Group app.
I know. That last one. Seriously…
This post has been brought to you by the gym, two 20 lb. weights, make-believe apps and my lazy a**. It’s also being brought to you by Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday. Click HERE to see additional one-liners in the comment section. Feel free to play along by posting your own one-liner and linking your post to Linda’s.