Talkin’ Food

gibbs-talkinHe’s a talker, that one.

I wish I knew what he was saying.

He wants something.

Perhaps love.

Perhaps prey.

Or perhaps nothing but to hear the sound of his own plea.

Food, human, food! Don’t you understand?

He yowls, that one.

I wish I knew what it meant.

Is he scolding someone?

For the bane of winter enclosed?

For lack of a thousand cat toys?

Or maybe nothing but to admire the sound of his own majesty.

Food, human, food! Try to follow along!

I tell him to be quiet, that one.

I wish he would settle down.

His cries become annoying.

It’s not time to eat.

He wriggles away from love.

I don’t have a clue what he wants other than drive me to insanity.

Food, human, food! I wish you knew what I meant!

I take him to the bedroom, that one.

And close the door behind.

“Enough is enough is enough,” I say.

It’s time for quiet.

Time to enjoy a kitty nap.

Time to take a 30-minute break and stop meowing incessantly.

Ugh, human! Food! You are as dumb as a rock!

Yes, he’s a talker, that one.

I wish I knew his language.

It must be important.

He does want something.

For which I have yet to find an answer.

I let him out of the bedroom and receive the glare of audacity.

Food, human, food! I haven’t forgotten the food!

There’s a knock on the door.

A visitor appears.

He greets visitor with a meow.

“What does he want?” the man asks.

I’m never sure.

“He sure is a friendly guy!” (A cat filled with apparent glee.)

Food, human! Got food? I’m here for food! Where’s the food? What good are you without food?

He’s a talker, that one.

23 responses to Talkin’ Food

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Some days I want to call up the “My Cat From Hell” guy and have him stage an intervention. Gibbs is a wonderful cat in so many ways, but he gets on a tear with the talking and won’t shut up. That’s when he gets a time out!

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Seems pretty clear that you haven’t fed him in a very long time.

    This is a great post. It sounds like our loud-mouthed little girl.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Yeah, I suppose three times a day, every eight hours or so, is a long stretch. Not counting, of course, the treats he sometimes gets in between. Poor, poor kitty, his mom starves him all the time!

      • Dan Antion says:

        I forwarded the email to my wife. She wasn’t even finished when she was saying “that’s MuMu” with each new line 🙂

      • bikerchick57 says:

        LOL! Should we hook those two up and hire a manager? “Feline duo sings their way to a multi-million dollar kibble contract!”

  2. joey says:

    Well done! My older male is reliably plaintive about his evening crunchies. The rest of the time, I don’t know what he’s goin on about. Maybe a protest against the wet food, the dog, the absence of trees in the house — No idea.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      This caterwauling and its meaning shall remain a mystery to both of us. In the meantime, the kitties will continue to audition for “The Voice” whether they know it or not.

  3. Joanne Sisco says:

    I was suspecting it was a male cat thing until Dan peeped up about MuMu. I’m lucky that most of the time, Theo shows me what he wants … he’ll sit in front of his food dish, the outside door, or his catnip pad. When he just wants attention, it’s a little more complicated – so I usually start there 🙂

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Can Theo have a training session with Gibbs? The talker was at it again at 3:15 am. I think he wanted to hear how he sounds in the dark. Ugh.

      • Joanne Sisco says:

        Theo spends the nights downstairs in the basement where he has a bed, a litter box, food and water for the night. He’s only once woken me up meowing during the night.
        He was really on a roll so I assumed something was terribly wrong. When I opened the basement door, he tore to the back door. I’m guessing he heard something outside he didn’t like and was off like greased lightning when I decided to let him out.
        I never found out what it was that had him bent out of shape, nor did it ever happen again.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Oh I wish I had a basement or spare bedroom. Gibbs’ evening quarters would change in a hurry.
        Cats are weird. Gibbs has done the same thing…chasing after ghosts or things we don’t see or hear. Just once, I’d like to know what’s going through their kitty mind when they do that.

  4. His brother, Phineas, lives here and wants to come and visit you…form a duet with Gibbs….make a YouTube…become famous…oh, and maybe you have better food…

    Phineas will also “talk back”. And I don’t mean as in a conversation. He is such a chronic teenager. You tell him to stop something and he flips his head in your direction, menacingly, and snarls right back at you!!


    • bikerchick57 says:

      Tell Phineas that it’s very possible I have better food for my talker. He’s welcome to come have lunch with Gibbs and discuss plans for the future and stardom.

      Chronic teenager, huh? Yeah, Gibbs will be that once he goes through puberty. :-p

  5. Miss Lou says:

    Love him!! What a beautiful looking furbaby. Sunscreen, our almost 3 year old feline furbaby is a bit of a talker. He also purrs like Harley Davidson.
    After we took his brother Rhubarb to his new home, he wailed for a week’s 🐾 😦

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Oh, poor Sunscreen, losing his buddy. I’d wail too if I lost my best friend. As a side note, I used to have a cat named Harley-Davidson. He purred, but not that loud! Harley was more of a sleeper than a talker.

  6. I love your words dedicated to your furry friends. I can read my cats as you can. Life would not be complete without my furry friends Bless YOU – Jackie –

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Oh absolutely, would not want to be without my kitties. They are my furry friends, babies and four-legged followers!

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