Ummm…Queenie, it’s 1:00 a.m. and I’m trying to sleep. Why are you asking me stupid questions?
It’s not a stupid question and don’t give me that crap about trying to sleep. You wake the human when she’s trying to sleep and that doesn’t seem to matter.
Well, okay, you can tell yourself that and believe, but I’d like you to answer my question. Do you know the significance of today?
Significance? Oh boy, you’re using pretty big words for early in the morning.
I don’t know. Is it Cat Poop Day?
No. That was yesterday.
Is it Tuna-Out-Of-The-Can Day?
Is it Catch-a-Bird Day?
Not on your life.
Is it Don’t-Yell-at-Gibbs Day?
Close. You’re very close. It’s National Cat Day!
National Cat Day? Really? What happens on National Cat Day other than humans glorifying the feline presence?
I’m not sure, but I hope it means the humans are nice to us, shower us with gifts, give us extra food and face rubs, and throw some treats at us several times throughout the day.
You’re really hoping for the food and treats part, right?
A feline girl can dream.
I’m hoping that our human doesn’t leave us alone all day, like she’s done the last five days.
Idiot! She leaves us during the week so she can pay for our kibble and the roof over our heads. She leaves us with our cat tree, a warm bed, plenty of cat toys and two windows for viewing of birds. What more do you want?
I want National Cat Day.
Well, you’ve got it.
I also want my human to stay home and shower me with affection.
Well, good luck with that. Frankly, I don’t mind that she’s gone during the day. It’s quiet and I get a lot of uninterrupted sleep.
You get too much sleep. That’s why you’re portly.
Just stop it, will you? Every single time, there has to be a joke or comment about my stature. I don’t call you an idiot or joker or attention-seeking, incessant jerk…do I?
Well, then, stop it.
Oh, alright. I’ll be nice.
Good. Go back to sleep and dream what’s in store for you on National Cat Day.
I can’t. I’m too excited to sleep.
Dude, we’re not going to Disneyland. Go to sleep.
Do you know the significance of Monday, October 31st?
It’s the start of the human’s work week. She leaves us alone all day and I get my beauty sleep.
No, silly! It’s Halloween!
Yes, I knew that. It’s a day of scary costumes and treats and black cats that go bump in the night. I’m hoping we’ll get more treats on Halloween. I never get enough treats. Where are the freakin’ treats?
*Gibbs bites his lip*