Comments from the Royals

Dear Readers,

After careful consideration, I’ve decided to hand over the reigns of this post to Gibbs and Queen Ziva. They are in a chatty mood and I have laundry to finish. And I need a nap. It is my hope you come away with something of value from their insipid bantering. Godspeed.


20160409_102118_3
The King and his throne.

I am so!

You are not!

Am too!

No, you’re not!

YES I AM! 

Gibbs, the human calling you “King of the Cat Tree” and posting a photo on Facebook does not make you a King.

Yes, it does. I had 19 “likes” and one person loves me. That is enough to make me King.

Were there any comments?

Comments? Why do I need words when humans can show their affection by clicking on that thing they call a mouse? 

Because comments let you know how the “likers” and “lovers” really feel. Instead of clicking the mouse, they write things like “nice cat tree” or “he’s a poser” or “great job with the photo, human.”

Hmpffff, it has nothing to do with the human’s ability to take a photograph, but rather the subject matter. I make a fine subject AND a King!

*sigh*

What do you know about comments, Queenie? Are you some kind of expert?

An expert, no. I have a very difficult time with human words. I prefer to stick with “meow” and some cackling when presented with food. However, I do know that our human likes comments on her blog and on Facebook.  She enjoys the interaction and getting to know people she may never meet in person.

Isn’t that kind of silly? To exchange comments with someone you can’t see or touch?

No, not really. I heard our human say that it’s fun to “talk” to people from other countries, like India, Canada, Australia, England, Connecticut, and Belgium. She learns about their lifestyle, culture, the food they eat, what they wear, their killer insects, the color of their doors and much more…interesting stuff.

Doofus, Connecticut is a state, not a country.

20160325_164421
A Queen needs regular naps on a warm blanket.

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Humans are different in other states too. They consume different types of food and have different regional accents.

What’s an accent?

It’s like saying “meow” ten different ways. Each way is distinct, but the human is still saying “meow.” It’s no different than how you and I say “meow,” but it sounds different to the human. Anyhow, getting back to the comments…

What does our human say when she comments? What do other humans say when they comment?  Does any of it make sense to you?

To me? No. But the human tends to smile when she reads comments. Sometimes, she laughs or snickers or snorts. Then she types something and waits for a new comment or she goes to others’ blogs and Facebook pages and writes more. And waits for more comments. And the cycle repeats itself if the other humans want to keep commenting. I don’t know what the humans are saying to each other, although I would guess it’s not about kibble or catnip. Maybe they talk about how they nap for seven or eight hours at a time and eat food that would never touch my lips.

You don’t know what’s good.

Hey, give me kibble and the yummy catnip-flavored treats and I’m good to go.

Yeah, you’re good to go on a diet.

Do you think we could ever have a conversation without you making comments about my weight?

No.

*sigh*

Can I make another comment?

I suppose.

I am King! I rule the Cat Tree!

Ugh. I don’t think so.

I think so and I am.

No, you are not.

YES, I AM!

20160319_174537
There are days when the King and Queen actually touch one another without grimacing.

I’m done with your silly comments. It’s time for a nap. You can go stand on top of the cat tree and proclaim yourself King until your gray fur turns blue. It will not change the fact that I am the Queen and the Queen always rules. Always. Are you listening?

Your comment doesn’t change the fact that I can sit on top of the cat tree, but you can’t get your roly-poly Queenie butt up there.

Did you know there are some unwritten rules about commenting on blogs?

Yeah, like what?

Like always being respectful when commenting. Like not calling humans, dogs or cats names or making fun of their pleasingly plump nature or addiction to food.

I can’t make fun of dogs?

Only in your dreams, Gibbs. It’s never a good idea to make fun of anyone unless it involves killing a moth. That’s fair game.

What?

Never mind. Inside joke.

Well, I’ve had enough of YOUR silly comments. It’s time to go to the tree. To stand on my throne. To simply be me. To be Gibbs the King! Long live the super marvelous King!

*no comment* (says the Queen)

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20 responses to Comments from the Royals

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Hail King and Queen! I bow to your greatness. Mainly because I am a (which is lower, serf or peasant ?) low on the ladder around here. I answer to two Queen Cats, a Princess pup and a human female who actually is kinda-sorta in charge. Basically, my role is to provide the kibble and wheel the used litter to the curb on Thursdays.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Mr. Peasant Serf, you are a good lowly human. Tell the human female to put an extra pat of butter on your toast and add 5 minutes to your break. You deserve it having to deal with two Queens and all that litter. Oh, and a dog too. Geesh.

  2. joannesisco says:

    hahahaha!! “It’s never a good idea to make fun of anyone unless it involves killing a moth”. A certain someone is never going to get past that, is she?

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Ms. MOSY, my human tells me the moth joke over and over and over again, like a kitten’s favorite bedtime story. It’s hilarious. Love, Ziva.
      PS: That’s a dandy Pfft. Just remember to growl once in a while when you do that.

  3. joey says:

    This is such an honest, humble account of what goes on between felines and their humans! My cats are so beautiful and arrogant, I can only worship them and throw them bits of meat and cheese, hoping to impress them.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Madam, that is a myth that felines are arrogant. We are so misunderstood. It makes me want to point my pink nose to the sky and walk away. Love, Ziva.

      Did you say meat and cheese? Where? Your KING, Gibbs.

  4. Herman says:

    Mr. Bowie, sitting beside me, seems to like this post too…

  5. csroth3 says:

    This is so cute. I also had 2 cats who would bicker at each other, and one was dark gray like your king. She passed away recently and I miss her. This was really fun to read.

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