Sonnet of Dark Dulcitude

On February 13, 2015, I wrote a blog post titled Chocolate Chips: A Valentine Song. The chocolate chip song was a bit of a cheesy take on Journey’s Open Arms. It was a passable post, I suppose, but not the best writing I’ve ever done.

AA rewritingThirteen months later, a small group of bloggers were challenged gently encouraged by Dan at No Facilities to rewrite a former post…an offering we had published in the past that screamed do-overs! or a story that beckoned to have a new plot twist. 

I immediately scoured past posts and came up with the selection noted above. The next question was what to do with it. How can I make it, at the very least, marginally better? Well, not too long ago, I wrote a piece called A Blogger’s Soliloquy, in which I mashed up Act 3, Scene 1 of Hamlet. Since then, I’ve been inspired by Shakespeare and Data to write a sonnet in iambic pentameter, with the proper subject matter or, in this case, food for thought. I hope you enjoy this reformed song.

I have but one desire, tis plain and clear

Of a darkish substance that summons me

Its sweetness, its smoothness brings my tongue near

To taste what the Mokaya gave to me

I speak the name borne of the cocoa plant

The name for which millions adore and lust

Chocolate! chocolate! I daily rant

Give me your cake and chips and mousse, you must

For to be without chocolate is hell

No man, woman, child shall ever endure

A burn in the soul that Tums cannot quell

Chocolate is love to the senses sure

Forever I shall taste dark dulcitude

With its creamy, come-get-me attitude

chocolat cake

Feel free to share your comments regarding the original piece vs. the rewrite.

Which one did you like better? Did I meet the mark of a sonnet? Are you craving dark chocolate? 

(Check back later for links to the group’s rewrites as they are posted.)

22 responses to Sonnet of Dark Dulcitude

      • Oh, well picked up. No beard (sadly). Lord Egeus, Hermia’s father, has just been turned into Lady Egeus, Hermia’s mother, with appropriate word changes. Good male actors are so hard to find, we do (when we’re allowed) prefer to gender flip the role rather than use a bad male actor. The last Shakespeare play, both my roles were meant to be male. And in our last Agatha Christie play, we gender-flipped four roles. It’s just easier. 🙂

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Well, that makes total sense. Why are the male actors hard to come by? Just not their “thing?” Or just that bad?

      • I don’t know. It’s always been that way. Not just for us, either. It’s a general trend across the board in amateur theatre (in my experience, at least). Weird, when you think about it, as they seem to dominate the “celebrity” end of it.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        There’s more money in celebrity than community. I will have to ask my theater friends if the same is true around here.

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I should post a photo of the Easter candy wrappers I am tossing out right now (all variations of Reeses). I think you held to the pattern for a sonnet (which I don’t think is easy to do). I like this better than the valentines entry, but I do like chocolate chip cookies. Nicely done Mary!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Do it. I want to see the carnage. As for the sonnet, it was a bit intimidating knowing I had to abide by so many rules. But once I started, it became fun. I may have to do this again, perhaps a more serious subject.

  2. joey says:

    I LIKE IT. If this is the rewrite, I like it. *shoves another Cadbury mini egg into her mouth* It’s good.

  3. I believe this version is better. However, now I am feeling the pangs in my belly and I can’t find a chocolate at such late hour of the night. What am I going to do now? 🙂

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