Mom and I had a wonderful visit on Saturday. Given mom is minus a hearing aid at the moment, we were able to converse fairly well. I had to spell a couple of words for her, but that will occur even with two hearing aids.
Our conversation drifted from parents to siblings, to her own mother’s cooking, to how the food at the home sucks, to her children, to “why doesn’t your brother get married?” These are many of the topics on repeat that invade our weekly visits. In an effort to talk about something else, I asked mom a question about Evan, her husband and my father. She answered. That answered spurred on a memory.
“Do you know that Evan and I were driving in the mountains one time and he didn’t know where he was? Neither of us knew where we were. We just drove around and around and around. I didn’t know what to do, if I should cry or…”
Mom’s voice tapered off.
I asked her what happened.
“Evan said that we’d eventually come out somewhere. And we did.”
I remember, as a family, we would go on Sunday drives, in the country, watching for deer and enjoying the scenery. Mom would ask dad, “Do you know where we are?” He’d always reply, “No, but we’ll eventually come out somewhere.” I wonder today, given dad’s sense of humor, if he really did know where he was and found it funny to pull our collective legs.
Mom recounted that once she and Evan found their way to civilization in the mountains, they happened upon a little grocery store, from which they purchased two ice cream cones. All is well that ends well with ice cream.
Somewhat out of my mind, I then decided to explain technology to her. This is not always a bright idea with the woman who has asked on several occasions, “What is a computer?” It’s difficult to explain this technological wonder to someone who has never worked with a computer and probably doesn’t have an image in her head of what one looks like.
“Mom, do you know that cars have computers that help you find your destination? You tell the computer where you want to go and it tells you how to get there. It’s called a GPS.”
“A GPS. Gee…Pee…Ess.”
“No. G…like in Gary, P…like in Peter, S…like in Sam. GPS.”
She finally gets it.
Mom asks, “It tells you how to get there?”
And now we interrupt this program with a totally different topic…
“Have you found a man yet?”
“No, mom, not yet. Maybe one of these days.”
Mom thinks for a moment and then says, “Can the computer tell you how to find a man?”
*daughter thinks, wow, if only…*
Yes, if only I could plug into the GPS what I’m looking for in a man and have it give me directions to a final destination. Better than Match.com, where the trip can be long and arduous and full of detours.
I answered mom, “No, it doesn’t work that way.”
Mom smiles and says, “That’s too bad.”
Yes, mom, it is. It truly is.