You do not have the right to access data in this universe.
This is a message I received when trying to access report information in a web-based program at work.
Hmmm…I wonder what they mean by “in this universe”?
Is there an alternate universe?
Do I need to go there to run a report?
Will I understand the alien data in the alternate universe?
Do I require the assistance of a tardis or warp drive or an IT guru?
How do I get access to data in my own universe, on my own planet, in my own office?
Does anyone have answers?
While you are contemplating a creative and crafty response based on your scientific knowledge, I thought I would transport all of you back to the late 80’s/early 90’s when I was in my early to mid 30’s and mom was in her late 60’s.
This picture beckons another question: What was I thinking?
Someone called and wanted their extra-large glass frames back. I believe it was a character from Growing Pains. It had to be.
The yellow dress I had on in the photo was really cute (I swear) and I wore it often until an inmate at the correctional institution (where I worked at the time) told me how good I looked in it.
Really, really good!! *insert an ogling glare*
I never wore the yellow dress to work again. I became a customer of the Black & Dowdy Cover-Up-Everything store after that incident. I only dressed as the “real me” outside of the office.
TV was fun and silly during this time period. In 1989, the Simpsons aired on primetime TV after spending three years as a short on The Tracey Ullman Show. ALF, Cheers, Full House, The Golden Girls and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on the tube. When I first saw TMN Turtles, I thought, “This is a really stupid cartoon, it’s never going to make it.”
I should never be allowed to predict anything.
At the movies, in the late 80’s, I laughed alongside The Mighty Ducks and Look Who’s Talking while Ernest P. Worrell went to camp, then to jail and was finally scared stupid. In the first half of the 90’s, life took a serious turn with Forrest Gump, Schindler’s List, Pulp Fiction and a favorite of mine – Shawshank Redemption. I fell in love with Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins.
This was a fun time for fanny packs, lace finger-less gloves, rollerblades and the Macarena. Did any of you dance to the Macarena?
But I digress. Let’s get back to those darn glasses of epic proportions.
In trying to make myself feel better for my HUGE faux pas, I went in search of other fashion choices of the 80’s and 90’s that were similarly bad, made by other people.
Wow, someone wants the gold lame, big hair, big hair mullet, Batman T-shirt and all-kinds-of-wrong jumpsuit back. Wow.
I feel somewhat better. Batman guy had the bad hair AND the over-sized glasses.
If there was ever an alternative universe that I had access to, this was it. Here was a wide range of topics on which to report: bad hair, bright clothing and big glasses. Topics worthy of some memory loss. Can a Vulcan help us forget? Or do we need a Time Lord?
I’ve been rummaging through old photos again and some of them are fabulous and others I would rather burn at the stake. Most days, I don’t consider myself a photogenic person. I just happened to look really adorable on the day I wore a yellow dress and big glasses. And mom was adorable too. I look back at the photos of my youth and adulthood and I seriously wonder why I let someone cut my hair like that or why I wore flowered bell bottoms or why I allowed my brother to walk around with high-waters. Then I find a photo of myself at four years of age and I look adorable again.
Do you have a photo you’d like to burn? Or one that screams “I’m cuter than a bug’s ear?” Or one from the universe of big glasses?
I’d like to know.
Along with scientific answers to at least two of my questions.
And a report.