The Universe of Big Glasses

You do not have the right to access data in this universe.

This is a message I received when trying to access report information in a web-based program at work.

Hmmm…I wonder what they mean by “in this universe”?

Is there an alternate universe?

Do I need to go there to run a report?

Will I understand the alien data in the alternate universe?

Do I require the assistance of a tardis or warp drive or an IT guru?

How do I get access to data in my own universe, on my own planet, in my own office?

Does anyone have answers?

While you are contemplating a creative and crafty response based on your scientific knowledge, I thought I would transport all of you back to the late 80’s/early 90’s when I was in my early to mid 30’s and mom was in her late 60’s.


This picture beckons another question: What was I thinking?

Someone called and wanted their extra-large glass frames back. I believe it was a character from Growing Pains. It had to be.

The yellow dress I had on in the photo was really cute (I swear) and I wore it often until an inmate at the correctional institution (where I worked at the time) told me how good I looked in it.

Really good!

Really, really good!! *insert an ogling glare*

I never wore the yellow dress to work again. I became a customer of the Black & Dowdy Cover-Up-Everything store after that incident. I only dressed as the “real me” outside of the office.

TV was fun and silly during this time period. In 1989, the Simpsons aired on primetime TV after spending three years as a short on The Tracey Ullman Show. ALF, Cheers, Full House, The Golden Girls and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on the tube. When I first saw TMN Turtles, I thought, “This is a really stupid cartoon, it’s never going to make it.”

I should never be allowed to predict anything.

At the movies, in the late 80’s, I laughed alongside The Mighty Ducks and Look Who’s Talking while Ernest P. Worrell went to camp, then to jail and was finally scared stupid. In the first half of the 90’s, life took a serious turn with Forrest Gump, Schindler’s List, Pulp Fiction and a favorite of mine – Shawshank Redemption. I fell in love with Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins.

This was a fun time for fanny packs, lace finger-less gloves, rollerblades and the Macarena. Did any of you dance to the Macarena? 

But I digress. Let’s get back to those darn glasses of epic proportions.

In trying to make myself feel better for my HUGE faux pas, I went in search of other fashion choices  of the 80’s and 90’s that were similarly bad, made by other people.

bad 80s hair Bad 90s Twins

bad gold suit Bad Hair 80s

Wow, someone wants the gold lame, big hair, big hair mullet, Batman T-shirt and all-kinds-of-wrong jumpsuit back. Wow.

I feel somewhat better. Batman guy had the bad hair AND the over-sized glasses.

If there was ever an alternative universe that I had access to, this was it. Here was a wide range of topics on which to report: bad hair, bright clothing and big glasses. Topics worthy of some memory loss. Can a Vulcan help us forget? Or do we need a Time Lord?

I’ve been rummaging through old photos again and some of them are fabulous and others I would rather burn at the stake. Most days, I don’t consider myself a photogenic person. I just happened to look really adorable on the day I wore a yellow dress and big glasses. And mom was adorable too. I look back at the photos of my youth and adulthood and I seriously wonder why I let someone cut my hair like that or why I wore flowered bell bottoms or why I allowed my brother to walk around with high-waters. Then I find a photo of myself at four years of age and I look adorable again.

Do you have a photo you’d like to burn? Or one that screams “I’m cuter than a bug’s ear?” Or one from the universe of big glasses?

I’d like to know.

Along with scientific answers to at least two of my questions.

And a report.

I’ll wait…

24 responses to The Universe of Big Glasses

  1. joannesisco says:

    oh yes – I had the huge glasses too. Yikes – what an unfortunate decade the 80s were for fashion and hair!

  2. Kathleen McCormick says:

    Very entertaining. I laughed out loud……..Thanks, I needed that.

  3. Fortunately, I still, at my advanced age, do not require glasses so no embarrassing frame choices to share. I did, however, in the 80s, go through a stage of wearing my Dad’s red and yellow Hawaiian shirt. And then there was my Brideshead phase when I carried a large teddy bear everywhere. (I kid you not and yes there is unfortunate photographic evidence.)

    Did you slide into that alternative universe? (speaking of favourite tv shows from the 90s)

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Did ou wear the Hawaiian shirt and carry the teddy bear at the same time? I had to Google Brideshead as I did not watch it and I have to say the photo of two men, one carrying a teddy bear, was strange right off the bat. Of course, I used to watch Monty Python and Benny Hill…speaking of strange. I’m sure everyone has at least one embarrassing photo of a time when we thought we were extremely cool and in fashion.

      • I was going to answer “No” to your question but then I remembered that photographs from my Year 11 school camp definitely include the Hawaiian shirt and also the teddy bear. I’m pretty sure there aren’t any of the two together but that was probably just chance. So the answer should be “Quite possibly”. Oh dear.

  4. moylomenterprises says:

    You certainly took us on quite a journey. Those TV shows and movies, but I watched them all! No need for glasses yet (knock on wood))

    • bikerchick57 says:

      You are lucky. I’ve had glasses since 2nd grade with quite the variety of frames. They are a permanent part of my face.

      • moylomenterprises says:

        Thx… My parents and siblings all wear glasses… Luck of the draw I guess… Although it’s been taking a little longer to focus lately, perhaps aging is taking its toll. 😦

      • moylomenterprises says:

        Hey I’m sure there’s an awesome gene/skill you have that I don’t (like your fearless ability to ride that beautiful motorcycle you posted on recently!) See It all events out 🙂

  5. Dan Antion says:

    Thanks for the peek back in time. It’s fun to look back and see the bad fashion and to think about the awful things we spent our time watching. Then again, there was Dallas and the early years of Star Trek Next Generation, so it wasn’t all bad, and I think that was when MTV played music.

    My daughter gave me a collage of photos of her and me for my 60th birthday. Two photos include the big glasses. One reveals the fact that they also featured “Photogray” lenses. But, I’m holding her in her Easter dress and bonnet and she is as cute as a bug’s ear.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I watched the very first video on MTV and for years after until it turned into reality TV among other things. Small children in Easter garb are always cute and a good detractant from the bad fashion of their parents. Happy Friday, Dan, make it a hugely good day 🙂

      • Dan Antion says:

        Um, hugely good would include the Pirates beating the Brewers…just sayin. Have a great day Mary! And, you’re right, when you look at the photo, all you really see at first is a bubbly little two year old mugging for the camera.

  6. M-R says:

    Tired of tapping your fingers on the desk yet …?
    Yes, I have MANY. For instance, the one that FarmerFi took of us two the day she came into town to give me a bottle of wonderful olive oil. It’s so fuckin appalling that when I saw she’d posted it (needless to say, I didn’t !) I nearly wept.
    Sighh … even at my age we have our pride …

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Hey, it’s You! I thought perhaps Lui did something awful and you were both in protective custody. Instead, you were hiding from a bad photograph. I can’t tell you how many times I appear to have been on a two-day drunk in a photo. No big glasses or messy hair, I have a problem with keeping my eyes open. It’s awful. I have my pride too 😉

      • M-R says:

        It’th me ! [grin] Read my post of today and you’ll at least know where ah hev bin …

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