This Phone Doesn’t Work Right!




Sunday is Mother’s Day.

Mom is unclear about this, as she is with most dates and holidays. This past Tuesday evening, she called me. Keep in mind, as I relay this story, that mom is hard of hearing (we’re waiting approval for two new hearing aids) and she has a new phone as of two months ago – her well-intentioned daughter bought her in the hopes she would stop hanging up on her sonΒ because she couldn’t hear him.

Me: “Hello?”

Mom: “Mary? Did you just call me?’

Me: “No.”

Mom: “Well my phone rang once and when I picked it up, no one answered.”

(Most likely, mom couldn’t find the button to engage her caller.)

Me: “Oh, well it wasn’t me.”

Mom: “This phone doesn’t work right. I can’t call you.”

Me: “Mom, you called me now. Did you have someone call for you?”

Mom: “Yes.”

Me: “Mom, have someone help you when you want to call.”

Mom: “What?”

(The last two lines repeated several times.)

Mom: “But this phone is not right. Can you hear it? It’s ringing.”

Me: Β “Mom, it’s not ringing. You are talking to me. It can’t be ringing.”

*silent thought*

Mom: “This phone doesn’t work right.”

Mom: “When are you coming to see me?”

Me: “Sunday.”

Mom: “When?”

(Repeat twice.)

Mom: “Why Sunday? Why aren’t you coming on Saturday?”

Me: “Because Sunday is Mother’s Day.”

I don’t remember what mom said. When a person has a severe hearing loss, they come up with very odd words and phrases. I tried to tell mom as slowly and loudly as I was able that Sunday was Mother’s Day – to no avail.

Me: “Mom, put the worker (aide) on the phone.”

Mom: “Okay.”

Me (to the male aide): “Could you please explain to mom that I am coming on Sunday because it’s Mother’s Day.”

Male Aide: “Sure.”

And, then, I listened to the male aide talk to my mom.

Male Aide: “Your daughter is coming on Sunday.”

Mom: “What?”

Male Aide: “Your daughter is coming on Sunday. It’s Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day!”

Mom: “It’s Columbus Day?”

At this point, I almost spit out the almond milk that was in my mouth.

Male Aide: “No, it’s Mother’s Day!”

Mom: “Oh.”

I don’t know if mom understood what the male aide told her. I may get a phone call from mom today, asking why I’m not there.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

I will bring you flowers tomorrow and we might go grab a bite to eat if the weather cooperates.

Mr. Columbus is not invited and I sure hope you get those hearing aids before Memorial Day.

I love you. xoxoxoxo


25 responses to This Phone Doesn’t Work Right!

  1. You’re such a good daughter! You should’ve called me, I could’ve made you a “Happy Columbus Day” card. hehe Sorry, I couldn’t resist!

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I don’t need to confuse mom any more than she already is! I feel so bad for her that she’s confused about her own holiday. I must buy her an extra special boquet of flowers!

  2. M-R says:

    I understand that some people (who deserve to be stoned in public) get upset about oldies’ children becoming in any way grumpy …
    I mean, why wouldja ??
    But it’s only at your end of the ‘phone that you occasionally would: when you’re there it’s a different story ! πŸ™‚

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Tis true. I don’t have many phone conversations with mom because most conversations go like this. It IS quite a bit different in person.

      • M-R says:

        And it’s a terrific photo, although I would think it makes you fairly sad, M-J. Here’s hoping not. πŸ™‚

      • M-R says:

        Yer a positive thinker, M-J – goodonyermate !
        Goin to bed now … Hoo-roo from the CSS mucker-abouter. πŸ˜€

  3. That point when you begin to parent your parents is such a tough one. When you truly realise they are not the invincible, eternal beings you thought they were in your childhood (a residual feeling of which always stays with you even in advanced adulthood). Lovely photo. They’re precious ones to have.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      I have been parenting the parents (now just my mom) for some time now…starting when dad gave up driving. I have gone through all of the emotions of watching them give up independence and decline physically and emotionally. It’s a tough road, but I came to realize there is nothing I can do except be there for them when they need me. And be patient and compassionate with them as it’s a very tough road for them as well.

      • bikerchick57 says:

        One more word of advice – don’t let guilt get in the way. You know, the “I’m not doing enough” guilt. You ARE doing enough, always give yourself a break, take care of yourself too.

  4. loisajay says:

    that is the sweetest conversation. I know we gals that are getting up there talk about this all the time. Isn’t our only wish, always, to never have this happen to us? Totally out of our control, though. You’re a good daughter. Happy Columbus’ Mother’s Day to you.

    • bikerchick57 says:

      Oh, Lois, I totally envision being pieces of my mom and dad if I live that long. Mostly, I see myself losing my mind. πŸ˜‰ Happy Columbus Mother’s Day to you too!

  5. joannesisco says:

    Your post was a deja vu for me. I went through that stage with my mom. It was so painful especially on the phone, but some of the stuff that came out of her mouth was priceless because she wouldn’t admit she couldn’t hear.
    Enjoy your Mother’s Day!!!

  6. Jenni says:

    My mum has learnt to text, so she’ll text me and then phone me to see if I received the text. The same applies to email. When I suggest she just not bother and simply call me she gets all huffy and says that texting and emailing is more efficient and gets a little ‘cranky’ when I point out that calling me to check if I’ve received them 60 seconds after sending them isn’t efficient. She the calmly say how is she supposed to know if I’ve got them yet if she doesn’t call and check, so I once again suggest skipping the text/email and the conversation starts ALL OVER AGAIN.

      • Jenni says:

        NO I can’t because she asks if I read it and then says well what do you think – she won’t tell me what she emailed or texted, it’s a very complicated dance we have going there. πŸ™‚

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Oh boy, well good luck with that. I guess you can feel blessed that you have conversations and a relationship with your mom, right?

      • Jenni says:

        Yeah – she’s nuts but then our whole family is and always has been. I’m lucky to have a good relationship with her and the dance is part of that. πŸ˜€

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