Mom: Ziva! You little weirdo!
Ziva: What mom? Why are you calling me a bad name?
Mom: Why are you laying on top of a scratching pad, on top of an upside down foot stool, on top of the chair?
Mom: Because why?
Ziva: I don’t know. It looked like it would be fun.
Mom: Is it?
Ziva: Well, I’m up higher than normal on this chair and I can dig my claws into the scratching pad without your angry yells when I scratch on the chair. So, I would say yes.
Mom: You’re weird.
Ziva: No I’m not. I’m a cat.
Mom: I don’t understand. How do cats find such strange and awkward places to lay? It looks like it hurts.
Ziva: *kitty laugh* Mew, mew, mew, mew, mew, LOL, mew! *scratch, scratch*
Mom: What’s so funny?
Ziva: You’re weird.
Mom: No I’m not. I’m human.
Ziva: If you wouldn’t have picked up everything off the living room floor and hauled the noisy sucking machine out of the closet, everything would have been fine. Why DO you bring out the noisy sucking machine?
Mom: To pick up the massive amount of cat hair that you and Gibbs leave on the floor.
Mom: I could make another cat or two with all of that hair.
Ziva: Mom, we’re cats. That’s what we do – eat, poop, sleep, play and spread fur around the house. You know the rules of nature. *scratch, scratch*
Mom: I could get another cat and add to the fun.
Ziva: No thanks. I wouldn’t consider that fun.
Mom: Just kidding.
Ziva: Very funny. Not. *scratch, scratch*
Mom: Are you sure?
Ziva: Mom, you are weird.
Mom: No, Ziva, you are weird. Are you going to stay up there all day?
Ziva: Only until you are done with the noisy sucking machine.
Mom: OK, weirdo, I’ll be done in a minute. Then you can find another strange place to plant yourself.
Ziva: I love you. I know you call me weirdo because you love me too…in your strange human way.
Mom: Yes I do, Ziva. I love you and Gibbs to death.
Ziva: *purr, purr, purr* *scratch, scratch* *purr, purr, purr* *scratch, scratch*
Ziva: Hurry with the machine, mom, the foot stool is poking me in the butt.